tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-44332208671037459182024-03-05T22:29:44.586-05:00Live * Laugh * WriteShawnhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16038370158284663729noreply@blogger.comBlogger49125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4433220867103745918.post-43390039884008113552011-07-26T11:49:00.006-04:002011-07-26T20:38:39.962-04:00Refresh and Rejuvenate with a Non-cation<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhDwjDkEzEoRhsbCOnDZ0SKc9PQUEAS3DmHH20yr4ij5OjN2RI3VZSlkBdgIfcJfcONWEGLNhGwOopRQbghoVP21I5gjK1srfU32LouzfAZcQ5iHSgB36HrvqYOflWWGJXvOr4kj30Q6d0/s1600/staycation+photo.jpg"><img style="TEXT-ALIGN: center; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; WIDTH: 400px; DISPLAY: block; HEIGHT: 266px; CURSOR: hand" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5633824744565187810" border="0" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhDwjDkEzEoRhsbCOnDZ0SKc9PQUEAS3DmHH20yr4ij5OjN2RI3VZSlkBdgIfcJfcONWEGLNhGwOopRQbghoVP21I5gjK1srfU32LouzfAZcQ5iHSgB36HrvqYOflWWGJXvOr4kj30Q6d0/s400/staycation+photo.jpg" /></a><br /><br /><div>I haven't been home in three years. </div><br /><br /><div></div><br /><div>By home, I mean sitting at the kitchen table drinking my mom's coffee and eating what she cooks. <em><strong>Her</strong></em> food. I haven't been in <em>her</em> house, under <em>her</em> roof, being taken care of like a daughter should be now and then.</div><br /><br /><div></div><br /><div>It's only our fault. The long, long drive with two little girls has been daunting enough to scare me from making the long trip the last two years. The budget never seems to accomodate a vacation. There's not enough time between board meetings, committee meetings, kid meetings, adult meetings, work meetings ... meetings, meetings, meetings! </div><br /><div></div><br /><br /><div>The excuses are long, drawn out and unnecessary. The point is there hasn't been a real vacation in three years. The kind that takes you away, wisks you away, sails you away, floats you away.</div><br /><br /><div></div><br /><div>And there won't be any again this year thanks to unemployment hitting our family. There's oddly no time now. I'm not sure how that works?</div><br /><div></div><br /><br /><div>Nonetheless, we don't really <em>need</em> to go on a vacation. Of course, it would be nice. It would be really nice. But, when you live like today is your vacation, vacations aren't really needed. That's just been my motto.</div><br /><br /><div></div><br /><div>And while the to-do list always outweighs many things, it never overpowers the living in our family. We haven't done a long stretch away but we do things to celebrate living and life and this world around us almost daily -- at the very least, weekly. </div><br /><br /><div></div><br /><div>Vacations are meant to rejuvenate, refresh and enliven us again to what is our Ordinary life. </div><br /><br /><div></div><br /><div>But, I love Ordinary very much. I love baking, and doing art projects and just swimming in the pool that we are blessed to have in our backyard. I love just doing nothing but snuggling on the couch with my family. And movie nights with popcorn and blankets and pillows. </div><br /><br /><div></div><br /><div>So, while we won't be going away for vacation in August, as planned, I do intend to take some days off and seriously pretend that I am on vacation. Here's how:</div><br /><br /><div><strong></strong></div><br /><div><strong>Staycation</strong>: From lazy mornings and easy breakfasts to lounging by the pool, the best part of vacation is doing very little. I mean so little it is almost boring -- <em>almost</em>. </div><br /><br /><p><strong>Re-discover the simple things</strong>: Hot tea and cookies for an afternoon snack. Wine over a meal. Fluffed up pillows. (A friend of mine even bought all white bedding once for their staycation). I'm freezing things like scones, granola and pancakes so that we can just heat up and enjoy.</p><br /><p><strong>Read</strong>: Read a travel book. Read about faraway places. Dream a lot. Maybe even devour a beach read by the pool.</p><br /><p><strong>Head to the water</strong>: Even if it's a day on the local lake being around water is relaxing. I plan to indulge a bit.</p><br /><p><strong>Do little cooking</strong>: I cook nearly every meal we ever eat -- from scratch. It's crazy but I love it. But, even I admit that it can burn a person out and that a week spared of throwing together big, fresh, local meals is dreamy. Dreamy, I tell you. I will do very little cooking.</p><br /><p><strong>Only clean the serious messes</strong>: Assuming the house is clean when you start -- and that you have to clean it when it's over -- a week is not too long to just let it all go. Really, it isn't. (right?)</p><br /><p><strong>Watch the stars and the sky</strong>: This is one of those subtle, life-changing moments that I'm oddly just sleeping through because, well, I do too many things and I'm tired. But I want to be outside, drinking a glass of wine and just relishing my smallness to this great wonder of the Earth.</p><br /><p>More ways to vacation while not vacationing may come to me ... like find a quiet corner and just write all day ... but for now I just know that it's a pretty good plan. How about you? Do you have any ways to enjoy a stay-home-when-you-really-want-to-get-away for vacation, vacation?</p>Shawnhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16038370158284663729noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4433220867103745918.post-78141556950057806622011-07-10T17:33:00.004-04:002011-07-10T17:54:10.398-04:00Ordinary picnic turns magical<span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space:pre"> </span><div><span class="Apple-style-span" ><span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space:pre"> </span>I</span> can't stand to do things the same way every day. Each week, I try hard to find small, loving ways to incorporate fun and creativity into our days. I'm always coming up with something. <div><br /></div><div>Today, we created a living room picnic that, as soon as we sat down, became a Poetry Picnic. This is one or two steps up from a regular picnic. <div><br /></div><div>It all began at our church service, which featured poetry from many poets. And, since it was too hot to go outside and we forgot one important thing at home, we decided to go home and have a picnic rather than head to a local park (which was the original plan.)</div><div><br /></div><div>For me, this was a magical experience -- and I love turning ordinary days into magic.</div><div><br /></div><div>Here's what you need to do this at your house soon. And, I encourage you to do it very soon.</div><div><br /></div><div><ul><li><b>Picnic fare.</b> We always choose sandwiches because our girls like them and will eat them without fail -- important for a picnic. Always adding in fresh fruit like cherries, often yogurt and treats like potato chips and cookies that our regular meals rarely include. </li><li><b>Soft blanket.</b> It's important to sit on the ground and lay around like lazy people for a picnic. Tables just aren't the same.</li><li><b>Fine drinks. </b>A lovely strawberry lemonade would be great. But, in our world, juice boxes fit the crowd nicely.</li><li><b>Stacks of poetry books.</b> If you don't have these readily at hand you can easily go to the library and get a couple anthologies out. We have many volumes of poetry so I just grabbed them all and sat leafing through them, picking the ones we liked best and that fit the moment.</li><li><b>Read aloud. </b>Have everyone pick a favorite and read it. Then, if the spirit moves you as it does us, create your own poem. Songs are just poems to music, too, so if you have a living room picnic, you can put on a CD of your favorite songs and listen to that as well.</li></ul></div><div><br /></div><div>There you go. A poetry picnic. Nothing fancy but definitely jazzes up a Sunday lunch.</div></div></div>Shawnhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16038370158284663729noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4433220867103745918.post-46324686594089317132011-07-07T19:16:00.008-04:002011-09-12T13:24:15.569-04:00Fire Up Your Muse: A Writing Retreat<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgV696SKuG_upNTUgHlHSmcIpQCzUTl6ei1aQeIpkYLQOxT5DLexi6dBVgrzYSlYRp4CNwYNirSL5sLw6rdOz-RVetWxtkgm943lu3yzGMKJOxhClBn0EDrbwmWo-vL3WZj9sGNKw6qjS0/s1600/flame.jpg"><img alt="" border="0" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5626777871721855650" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgV696SKuG_upNTUgHlHSmcIpQCzUTl6ei1aQeIpkYLQOxT5DLexi6dBVgrzYSlYRp4CNwYNirSL5sLw6rdOz-RVetWxtkgm943lu3yzGMKJOxhClBn0EDrbwmWo-vL3WZj9sGNKw6qjS0/s400/flame.jpg" style="cursor: hand; display: block; height: 400px; margin: 0px auto 10px; text-align: center; width: 320px;" /></a><br />
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<span style="color: #660000; font-family: verdana; font-size: 180%;"><strong>Fire Up Your Muse</strong></span></div>
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<span style="color: black; font-family: verdana;">Let's face it. The demands of life are non-stop no matter what season you are in, no matter what phase of life you face. Your to-do lists outnumber your word counts. You are constantly <strong>wondering</strong> when -- maybe next week, next month, next year? -- <em>things will finally settle enough</em>, calm down enough to give you some much-needed time to tackle that creative project.</span></div>
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<span style="color: black; font-family: verdana;">You've thought it a million times -- if you just had one day, a single day -- to focus on that one thing you love so much, expressing yourself on paper with<em> real, wonderful, fabulous</em> <strong>WORDS</strong>. </span></div>
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<span style="color: black; font-family: verdana;">Life is short. You love to write. You have always wanted to dabble in writing. You're curious about how to start writing for the first time. Maybe you never stopped writing and the journals -- oh the journals -- are piling up on your nightstand.</span></div>
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<span style="color: #660000; font-family: Verdana; font-size: 180%;"><strong>I know. I feel the same exact way.</strong></span></div>
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<strong><span style="color: #660000; font-family: Verdana; font-size: 130%;">You are invited to retreat into the wilderness and write all day.</span></strong></div>
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<strong><span style="color: #660000; font-family: Verdana; font-size: 130%;">Saturday, Oct. 1st</span></strong></div>
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<strong><span style="color: #660000; font-family: Verdana; font-size: 130%;">Glen Rock, Pennsylvania</span></strong> </div>
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10 A.M. to 2:30 p.m.</div>
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<strong><span style="color: #660000; font-family: Verdana; font-size: 130%;">(directions available upon registration)</span></strong></div>
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<span style="color: black; font-family: verdana;">This writing retreat is just for <strong>YOU</strong>. This is your time, your undivided attention to yourself and your mind. Your time to just <strong><em>be</em></strong> in one place for just one day, where time seems to almost stand still for <em>a few precious hours</em>. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: verdana;"><span style="color: black;">Best of all, we toss out all those rules about grammar and spelling and punctuation that have you paralyzed to move your pen or pencil. Rules, schmules. <strong>They are <em>nothing</em> to us.</strong></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: verdana;"><span style="color: black;"><strong><span style="color: #660000;">Fire Up Your Muse</span></strong> is designed to spark your creativity and expression. If you are someone who has a lot to say but often keep it stored in some dark corner of your mind, <em>this retreat is for you</em>. This is for you if you are <strong>trying to write</strong> for the first time in a long time. </span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: verdana;"><span style="color: black;"><strong><span style="color: #660000;">Fire Up Your Muse</span></strong> will literally and figuratively set fire to those mental demons and loser critics that have been holding you back from finishing or starting a project. It will then fill you back up with positive energy that will stir your creative juices -- so that you can move onward and upward. <em>You will leave inspired</em>. <strong>I promise</strong>.</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: verdana;"><span style="color: black;"><strong><span style="color: #660000;">Fire Up Your Muse</span></strong> will give back some of that lost time you've been trying to find. Four hours, in fact. We'll even retreat into some yoga poses designed to get the mind relaxed.</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: verdana;"><span style="color: black;"><strong><span style="color: #660000;">Fire Up Your Muse</span></strong> will offer you time to write and work on your own project while uncovering some new ones that you never new you had inside your heart.</span></span></div>
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<span style="color: black;"><span style="font-family: verdana;"><strong><span style="color: #660000;">Fire Up Your Muse</span></strong> will help you learn to w</span><span style="font-family: verdana;">ork through writer's blocks and press onward to face new, bigger dreams.</span></span></div>
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<span style="color: black;"><span style="font-family: verdana;"><strong><span style="color: #660000;">Fire Up Your Muse</span></strong> will show you how to s</span><span style="font-family: verdana;">hove fear aside and write in your authentic voice all while and turning writing into a daily (or weekly) practice.</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: verdana;"><span style="color: #660000;"><span style="font-size: 130%;"><strong>You are a writer</strong>. <strong>Yes, you, sunshine.</strong></span></span></span></div>
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<strong><span style="color: #660000; font-family: Verdana;">Join me for this wonderFULL day.</span></strong></div>
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<span style="color: #660000; font-family: Verdana;"><strong>Registration information:</strong></span><br />
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<span style="color: #660000; font-family: Verdana;"><strong>Just $45.</strong></span></div>
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<span style="color: #660000; font-family: Verdana;"><strong>Register on the lefthand sidebar </strong></span></div>
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<span style="color: #660000; font-family: Verdana;"><strong>Then do a little happy dance</strong></span></div>
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<span style="color: #660000; font-family: Verdana;"><strong>because you did this for YOURSELF.</strong></span></div>
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Shawnhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16038370158284663729noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4433220867103745918.post-79631067702546011042011-07-06T20:21:00.001-04:002011-07-07T06:56:46.949-04:00Finding my way<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgqL8rMNIT8QcjqfEY2uLmjCHkDNRZhEDtwzWzfGzUBuqm-tka-WD2CTecRMHaO3Uhqnelw1A1rXfqXMguMqXT3vB49D-fv0EkwNgNzNi8HopIwSirPVQNPsAN8ivRWZDw7ZHLrxIoCipU/s1600/2010-10+Ithaca+trip+030.jpg"><img style="TEXT-ALIGN: center; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; WIDTH: 400px; DISPLAY: block; HEIGHT: 224px; CURSOR: hand" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5626561870023088450" border="0" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgqL8rMNIT8QcjqfEY2uLmjCHkDNRZhEDtwzWzfGzUBuqm-tka-WD2CTecRMHaO3Uhqnelw1A1rXfqXMguMqXT3vB49D-fv0EkwNgNzNi8HopIwSirPVQNPsAN8ivRWZDw7ZHLrxIoCipU/s400/2010-10+Ithaca+trip+030.jpg" /></a><br /><br /><br /><br /><div>I've been resistant to a lot lately. Wondering if I'm wasting my personal time on things much bigger than me, much greater than me. "I can't do it," I heard myself say. "I don't have to do it," I said. "I don't want to do it," I said, almost in a temper tantrum.<br /><br /><br /><div>Not without some anger, I pushed through and took some risks -- leading my first writing retreat, for instance. It was easy to tell myself why would anyone listen to me?<br /></div><br /><div>I resist what I fear.<br /></div><br /><div>Danielle LaPorte's piece on<a href="http://whitehottruth.com/business-wealth-articles/how-to-resist-success/"> resisting success</a> spoke wisely to my soul not long ago.<br /></div><br /><div>I have been struggling with for time with figuring out what my personal brand really, truly is going to be. I have many dreams. I am a renassiance soul, to the core. I have many interests and talents. I have many facets to my personality. I always feel close ... almost within reach of what my inner authentic power is and then, just like that, it slips through my fingertips and I'm left standing watching a cloud of dust dissolve into thin air. </div><br /><br /><div></div><br /><div>I've had this feeling for some time now. A couple years. Long enough to know that it's constantly nagging at me. What am I supposed to be doing? Where do I belong?</div><br /><br /><div></div><br /><div>It's funny, I can so easily coach others into figuring out what THEY should be doing with their lives but, for myself, this is a hard exercise. The list of ideas are too long. My brain is always all over the place. I want, often, what I cannot even dream of at this time due to a job and children.</div><br /><br /><div>Will I ever, ever figure out this mystery? Or, is the mystery the real honest picture? I'm a puzzle piece that just doesn't fit into the bigger picture? Not in a sad way but in a happy, this-is-me way? </div></div>Shawnhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16038370158284663729noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4433220867103745918.post-31108748194838453942011-07-03T14:56:00.003-04:002011-07-03T15:04:47.611-04:00Who doesn't love free things?I've been working on this surprise for all of you for a while. I love things that I can print from the big wide world of the Internet. Printables, as they are called, just speak to my inner list-maker and pile-maker.<br /><br />This first printable is just that -- a first, a first in what I hope will be many more to come. I love the idea of creating and sharing art with the world.<br /><br />Please sign up for my newsletter and receive your free printable within one day of signing up. It's that simple.<br /><br />Now, bigger things to discuss ... what are you doing to live creatively this holiday weekend? I'm sitting and doing <a href="http://livinglaughingwriting.blogspot.com/2011/01/sit-and-do-nothing-rule.html">a lot of nothing</a>. And reading. Basically, just being very gentle with myself after a very long and busy period of time. It's time to let go and relax. That means lots of writing ideas are flowing, too!Shawnhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16038370158284663729noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4433220867103745918.post-73184713203777251572011-06-20T06:30:00.004-04:002011-06-20T06:32:43.947-04:00Celebrating and GratitudeI'm so grateful for so many things in this life -- this one precious life. I love the way the cool breeze hits my face first thing in the morning on an early walk. I love how each bird sings its own song, a mixture of peace and warning all at once. I love how people, all people, are so quirky and fun and annoying. <div><br /></div><div>I love that we have so much to love in such time of disarray. I love the smell of warm, fresh coffee. I love how the kitchen floor is squeaky clean thanks to my husband. I love how little girls giggle late into the night and rise early excited for a regular Monday. I love how blueberry zucchini bread tastes so buttery and creamy, not at all like any other bread I've eaten. </div><div><br /></div><div>I love how the days zip by but we still take time to celebrate, putting a single candle inside whatever we can -- a fig newton, a bowl of ice cream, a homemade chocolate truffle. </div><div><br /></div><div>I love the feeling of walking far, so far away, that your cares just have to melt away because the phone, the computer, people are too far to touch. I love running, the feeling of my heart pounding in my chest -- a feeling new to me as I haven't much cared for running in the past. I love that feeling of adrenaline, of feeling powerful. </div><div><br /></div><div>I love sitting outside and watching nothing and meditating on nothing and feeling peaceful when the to-do list is longer than a mile. I love crossing off that to-do list and feeling like I've accomplished something every single day. I love that today is the first day of summer camp and that when I told them they jumped up and down and squealed, clearly having no idea of what to expect. I love that they will learn the value of making new friends today and all week. I love that we're all here together, feeling so much love. </div><div><br /></div><div>I love writing every morning, letting the thoughts flow and flow and flow without error, without perfection, without fear. </div><div><br /></div><div>There's not enough hours in the day to prepare for what is to come so we have to just wait, let it happen how it will happen. It is what it is. We can't control this destiny anymore than we can control the children. But I do know it will be OK. We will be fine. </div><div><br /></div><div>Today I will send love out into the world, as I have been trying to do. I will do my job to the best of my ability and we will see how it goes. I will take care of people and make sure that they are happy. That's really all that I can do. I have plenty to be happy about and I am filled with love for my life and my family. </div><div><br /></div><div>That is really all that I have to do right now is love and trust. Love and Trust. Love and Trust. Love. And. Trust.</div>Shawnhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16038370158284663729noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4433220867103745918.post-29435658440778955372011-06-13T06:19:00.013-04:002011-06-13T08:43:21.220-04:00Success slips through her fingers<img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 240px; height: 173px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjJaPvtr7fuyTKwqV_habdsv767fvx5ygiK_Ga_EEMNpP4eQl-qrxjEzCbNaFtHSBKpLus26iaYnMChLmTlqQau3la1QP3Rs2mXp3wuPWugmG2g3if9ac-Q9Z5-UY9TkVZgJm9kPgFqXbk/s400/girl+runs.jpg" border="0" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5617652482441697298" /><div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(51, 51, 51); font-family: helvetica, sans-serif; line-height: 25px; ">All of my life, like many others, I have been chasing one dream after another. Each goal being a single step closer to that ultimate reality of success -- that feeling of finally making it. And yet, after each goal is realized, it's never enough. More is needed. More is desired. More power is wanted. More money. More respect. More. More. More.</span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(51, 51, 51); font-family: helvetica, sans-serif; line-height: 25px; "><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(51, 51, 51); font-family: helvetica, sans-serif; line-height: 25px; "><span class="Apple-style-span">R</span>ecently, I began reading, "The Gift of an Ordinary Day," by Katrina Kenison. At first I wasn't sure I wanted to keep reading it as it's mostly about raising adolescents and teenagers and considering that my daughters are only now starting school, I didn't think it would be relevant to my life. Only a few pages in, however, I did start to see some of the issues we'll have to encounter years from now and that the book, really, is almost a glimpse into the future. Kenison talks a great deal in the first couple chapters about success and what we expect that to mean for our children. Is getting the best grades on test what it means to be successful? I'm not sure, yet, as I know we have a lot to learn yet but I know for sure that I wasn't the best test taker. My grades were often low. I was easily distracted by more important things like being with my girlfriends and cheerleading and any other social event around. Perhaps I needed that since I was an only child and social interaction was lacking in my life at home. </span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(51, 51, 51); font-family: helvetica, sans-serif; line-height: 25px; "><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(51, 51, 51); font-family: helvetica, sans-serif; line-height: 25px; ">By reading this book now, I'm given a great opportunity to set the stage for my girls, and the way they shape what being successful is about. It's not about having the most money but having enough money to enjoy life. It's not about climbing the corporate ladder but knowing how to balance doing a great job at work and having enough time to enjoy this One Great Life that we've been given. It's not about rising to the top, it's about feeling really good about where you are at any given moment -- like right now. </span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(51, 51, 51); font-family: helvetica, sans-serif; line-height: 25px; "><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(51, 51, 51); font-family: helvetica, sans-serif; line-height: 25px; ">So will I stress when one of my girls gets a low grade or gets into trouble for having a little fun? I can't say for sure but what I do know is that they will be just fine no matter what and they haven't even started school. They will be just fine. I know this because they are happy, healthy children who like to know about the world around them and ask questions. If they grow up to be seekers and explorers who love to learn new things, I think that's pretty much perfection. If they grow up to be happy adults with lots of girlfriends around them, that's pretty ideal. If they grow up to travel the world and try new things, that's pretty fantastic. If they grow up to know what they like and do not like and aren't afraid to admit those details to anyone that's pretty wonderful. If they grow up and can speak their mind and not feel fear, that's pretty damn good. If they are passionate and kind -- oh so very kind -- that's pretty much all I can ask. If they grow up to have any of these traits, that's success to me. </span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(51, 51, 51); font-family: helvetica, sans-serif; line-height: 25px; "><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(51, 51, 51); font-family: helvetica, sans-serif; line-height: 25px; ">They willl certainly have their own ideas about what it means to be successful and that's OK, too. We may differ on a few points and I will have to respect their choices and opinions. We, as their parents, have a big job to prepare them for the future that awaits them. I don't think a few dozen Straight As is the answer, though that certainly does help get one into college. </span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(51, 51, 51); font-family: helvetica, sans-serif; line-height: 25px; "><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(51, 51, 51); font-family: helvetica, sans-serif; line-height: 25px; ">It feels good to think about what success is as I am struggling with that definition myself. It feels good for their sake and my own -- someone who has pretty high expectations of herself and what it means to be successful. I've come a long way to learn all of these great things about life and what it means to fully live, authentically, without fear and worry. Well, a little bit anyway. I still live with a little fear and worry, especially now, but particuarly right now it's timely to consider what we really need in life. Is it more money? Is it the best job? Or is it a happy family life and a happy household. Is it doing fun things and enjoying life to the fullest before we die? I think so. I really honestly think so. It's not going to be easy to pass this message along to our daughters, who already have pressures in their minds about things like the way their hair should be or what outfit to wear. </span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(51, 51, 51); font-family: helvetica, sans-serif; line-height: 25px; "><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(51, 51, 51); font-family: helvetica, sans-serif; line-height: 25px; ">It's not going to be easy raising two very different girls to live authentically. </span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(51, 51, 51); font-family: helvetica, sans-serif; line-height: 25px; "><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(51, 51, 51); font-family: helvetica, sans-serif; line-height: 25px; ">But I think I'm up for the challenge.</span></div></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(51, 51, 51); font-family: helvetica, sans-serif; line-height: 25px; "><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(51, 51, 51); font-family: helvetica, sans-serif; line-height: 25px; ">Photo Credit: <a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/-elma-/">Elma</a></span></div>Shawnhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16038370158284663729noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4433220867103745918.post-41470059658912199022011-05-31T20:52:00.004-04:002011-05-31T21:01:28.726-04:00The Fun Injection<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi-ZGUSLNa7Kd2-UKD-3upJq1W0q2VVcHOWwrmAhtA9DNvVI4DcLMlxoxsUi7yVEWMa_Ggr_yGUnm7ZCrBzyli5lfq5CeyzNskuKz6qFyekqoJZ3blL6ZyG8DcSkltEis66vPhxg9N5Rog/s1600/5th+birthday+party+011.jpg" onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}"><img style="float:left; margin:0 10px 10px 0;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 200px; height: 150px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi-ZGUSLNa7Kd2-UKD-3upJq1W0q2VVcHOWwrmAhtA9DNvVI4DcLMlxoxsUi7yVEWMa_Ggr_yGUnm7ZCrBzyli5lfq5CeyzNskuKz6qFyekqoJZ3blL6ZyG8DcSkltEis66vPhxg9N5Rog/s200/5th+birthday+party+011.jpg" border="0" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5613049821338231298" /></a><br />When was the last time you just let loose? You know, got up and danced for no reason, to no music? <div><br /></div><div>My BFF from high school finally joined Facebook and, already, I feel that shimmer of that girl I used to be coming through in our posts and private messages. No one -- NO ONE -- knows me like she does. We have been apart for 11 years, since I moved away, and yet it takes about one sentence to bring us right back to where we left off. Nothing changes between us and yet we've changed a whole lot.</div><div><br /></div><div>Language, inside jokes, cut-downs ... all in good fun, of course. </div><div><br /></div><div>It makes me want to write about high school. Finally, perhaps? OK, maybe not. That might be too scary.</div><div><br /></div><div>Actually, what would be scary is writing about middle school. Now, that's a drama I don't ever need to relive. </div><div><br /></div><div>This fun injection, of sorts, has been a breath of fresh air at a time when things need to be lightened up. </div><div><br /></div><div>This is when writing comes easily, when the heart is feeling light and happy and soaring to new heights. </div><div><br /></div><div>It's not easy to work all day and then take care of children and still fit writing in so finding the Fun Factor is essential. We have to make writing fun, even when we aren't sure we can muster the energy to hit the keys or grab the pen -- or even the paintbrush. Creating is hard work but it's the most fulfilling work, for sure.</div><div><br /></div><div>What's your fun factor? What makes you smile so easily? What silly thing could you curl up and write about right now? Please share in the comments and I might use your prompt for future writing exercises. </div>Shawnhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16038370158284663729noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4433220867103745918.post-43082942431764661222011-05-27T20:20:00.006-04:002011-05-27T20:39:00.096-04:00Writing -- and life -- is about balance<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjCrtNcYukRowmjXiRoYhG2Gf-hUTbOoMUwkb0RGXDsA1KKDvArdBWOmaDiLhGQb3gi9YtclIU726YO9mRxY9y9ti3d6zmBy2TmOEfZhVz9m_piYDhshG628dZE2rOFbQynX-x83BvVJOo/s1600/IMG_8918.JPG" onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}"><img style="float:left; margin:0 10px 10px 0;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 200px; height: 150px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjCrtNcYukRowmjXiRoYhG2Gf-hUTbOoMUwkb0RGXDsA1KKDvArdBWOmaDiLhGQb3gi9YtclIU726YO9mRxY9y9ti3d6zmBy2TmOEfZhVz9m_piYDhshG628dZE2rOFbQynX-x83BvVJOo/s200/IMG_8918.JPG" border="0" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5611558921609983218" /></a><br />By now, most people have heard that my husband lost his job. His position, along with the rest of the staff, was eliminated. Rather than cry a river, we're making the best of a crummy situation and getting resourceful. For now, we are OK. <div><br /></div><div>For now.</div><div><br /></div><div>It's so easy to get comfortable, to sink into a life that is familiar, like an old pair of sweats, and never want to leave. To think of change is to unravel. Our backs go up and we start to get defensive of that life that we grew to love so dearly.</div><div><br /></div><div>In my last writing course, <a href="http://livinglaughingwriting.blogspot.com/2010/08/monday-muse-being-fearless.html">Fearless Writing</a>, I talked a lot about taking risks, doing things differently and trying new things when all along I was doing the same thing every day as I do now. Sure, I take more risks than most but the big picture stuff, it all remains wrapped around me like a cozy blanket.</div><div><br /></div><div>I don't want to sit on just any cushion in life. I like this one, the one that is perfectly molded to fit my body, thank you very much. I can no longer question why my daughters both are so attached to their little bear blankets that they've had since infancy. Of course they still need those. Of course.</div><div><br /></div><div>And yet my cushion has been sucked out from underneath of me and we're having to adapt to the changes to the life we were so desperately clinging on to with no inclination it would change. The changes of routine and cushy bank accounts and getting used to a New Normal are upon us. </div><div><br /></div><div>So much of this lesson has to do with writing. It's not easy to write when things are really good. It's always easier to let the tears flow and drip down onto the page. But that's not what a writer should do. A writer has to return to the page day after day for the good and for the bad. It's only in between all of that when we start to see ourselves and our writing for what it truly is in the balance. </div><div><br /></div><div>I'm so looking forward to the <a href="http://livinglaughingwriting.blogspot.com/2011/05/like-grumpy-bear-its-time-to-wake-up.html">writing retreat </a>that I'm hosting so that we can walk in the balance together.</div><div><br /></div>Shawnhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16038370158284663729noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4433220867103745918.post-79279926687918285472011-05-17T09:04:00.005-04:002011-05-17T09:31:43.505-04:00Like a grumpy bear -- it's time to wake up<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEilurbU2XTFSrletlJirXJfhEGO1U6G5kAtwLcs7oPcZaBBmmv2qr_D-FWCFc2eqdmfVcpvgJHmzyN2YHHYSXWB42u120M3udrSg6baD65UZ232mnueBi4nlP7U4ar0e4Wl3UxcfKsc6c0/s1600/sunleaf.jpg" onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 240px; height: 181px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEilurbU2XTFSrletlJirXJfhEGO1U6G5kAtwLcs7oPcZaBBmmv2qr_D-FWCFc2eqdmfVcpvgJHmzyN2YHHYSXWB42u120M3udrSg6baD65UZ232mnueBi4nlP7U4ar0e4Wl3UxcfKsc6c0/s320/sunleaf.jpg" border="0" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5607675401400636274" /></a><br /><br />It has been a long, sloggy, wet Spring. And I feel much like a grumpy, hungry bear right now. A bear in need of nourishment and sunlight and energy to run and play, again.<div><br /></div><div>This is exactly why I am hosting a writing retreat on a friend's very tranquil, very majestic farm. It's not a working farm but a lot of acres of rolling hills, intense beauty and nature all around. </div><div><br /></div><div>That's how I get my energy, that's <a href="http://livinglaughingwriting.blogspot.com/2010/06/8-things-filling-me-up.html">how I get filled up</a> inside. Being outside, staring up at the sky and then writing it all down so fast -- as if it will slip away from memory if I do not. </div><div><br /></div><div>We need creative nourishment almost as much as we need food and yet so many just ignore that little facet of their being. That same being who goes without a break, without something wonderful to cling on to ... will just slumber on, trod on, drag on watching the clock and crossing off their to-do list.</div><div><br /></div><div>Do they dare to step outside and let their feet touch the dew-drenched grass? Do they stop and just lounge on the hammock or are they busy mopping and sweeping the floors? Do they ever just <a href="http://livinglaughingwriting.blogspot.com/2011/01/sit-and-do-nothing-rule.html">sit and do nothing</a>, nothing at all?</div><div><br /></div><div>Well, writing is on my to-do list every day and while I may not get to it every single day, I sure do want to try. And, believe it or not, we have <a href="http://livinglaughingwriting.blogspot.com/2011/01/time-is-abundant.html">more time than we think</a> to write or paint or do any other Art we wish to do. This retreat will point that out in a few different head-bonking ways. </div><div><br /></div><div>Please join me in Waking Up. Please join me in dragging ourselves out of spring and springing forth into summer. Please join me to write all day in the wonders of nature.</div><div><br /></div><div>Peace. </div><div><br /></div><div><b>Wake Up! A one-day writing retreat:</b></div><div><b><br /></b></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: collapse; color: rgb(51, 51, 51); font-family: 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 11px; line-height: 15px; "><b>Forget the coffee. Wake up to the life that is already happening all around you. Pay attention. Let go. Be free. This one-day retreat on a farm in Glen Rock will help you discover 12 writing tools you can use anywhere, anytime in order to live a more mindful, creative life.<br /><br />We often, as artists, think we don’t have much time to write or create. And yet, so much of art and creating is about noticing -- noticing the way the morni</b><span class="text_exposed_show" style="display: inline; "><b>ng breeze hlps the curtains dance to the songbirds outside. Noticing a stranger’s wrinkled smile. Noticing a loved one’s broken heart. Art is what happens when we’re too busy to pay attention. This retreat will help discover a life worth writing about – every day.<br /><br />Who should register? Writers. Wannabe writers. Artists. Creative souls. Anyone. You. Your friends. A beginner. Advanced writers. Painters.<br /><br />Anyone can write just for one day!<br /><br />June 25th – 10 a.m. to 2:30 p.m.<br />Cost: $45 Seating is limited! Sign up on the left-hand sidebar.</b><br /></span></span></div>Shawnhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16038370158284663729noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4433220867103745918.post-65282654153609312562011-04-28T05:54:00.002-04:002011-04-28T06:10:08.587-04:00A reflection on five yearsFive years seems like a little bit of time to be a mother. Only five. Just five. And yet there is so much wisdom about people, humanity, growing up, raising kids, and life hidden between my ears now after just five years. Enough wisdom to guide me through most obstacles with ease.<div><br /></div><div>It's impossible to give that wisdom -- just pass it like a bowl of mashed potatoes at the dinner table -- to another new mom. We can tell her that sleep deprivation sucks, which is does, but she won't understand what we mean until she is in month five and the baby wakes her up three times in one night again and she had really just started into a rhythm and now her whole day is off and that will set her whole week off. It's really hard to describe that feeling unless you've been there. </div><div><br /></div><div>We can tell her that it gets harder when they aren't an infant but she won't believe us and why should she because all that crying -- all that crying! -- is such a difficult thing to get over. And yet they will say they hate you, and they will have a hard time with a friend at school that will break your heart, and they will be left out or left behind and your every muscle will tighten with the pain of it all. </div><div><br /></div><div>But, lo and behold, our girls now sleep through the night. Just not every night. Because there are trips to the bathroom, bad dreams, lost bears, mixed up sheets, and the ever-so-scary illnesses. </div><div><br /></div><div>And, they are over little squabbles in a matter of seconds not minutes unlike me, who has only realized recently that I have a really interesting relationship with ATTACHMENT. I'm practicing detachment, actually, and will write more about that later. </div><div><br /></div><div>It's easy now, though. It's easy to tell my girls now that it's OK and move on. It's easy to comfort them now. They just need the comfort of a little help (gosh, don't we all?).</div><div><br /></div><div>My big lesson right now at five years is not about motherhood at all. It's about peoplehood and how amazingly beautiful they are with all their flaws and ridiculousness. It's about lessons every day about how to manage being around certain ones (yes, even my children) and about taming the gremlins that some of them carry around with them like little monkeys each day. </div><div><br /></div><div>I don't meditate every day but I do every week. I don't practice Zen every hour but I do practice it every day. </div><div><br /></div><div>It's enough for me right now. It's all enough. </div>Shawnhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16038370158284663729noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4433220867103745918.post-17121660646620201012011-04-26T10:29:00.008-04:002011-04-27T05:45:59.534-04:00The Practice of Now<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgithQyzzhRhh3Xnv5F-ImTsUyBkr4kigEN5oV_VVVH9KGQ_s9vVB3lHi_1KvIMJYPBnpTFVANlFpheoeZZEOUmwv68ygAqXWMq29lKeql_7FHIfgrAB63mpNPca-2sJegYBScC5kUrLg4/s1600/KMMauthor.jpg" onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}"><img style="float:left; margin:0 10px 10px 0;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 124px; height: 200px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgithQyzzhRhh3Xnv5F-ImTsUyBkr4kigEN5oV_VVVH9KGQ_s9vVB3lHi_1KvIMJYPBnpTFVANlFpheoeZZEOUmwv68ygAqXWMq29lKeql_7FHIfgrAB63mpNPca-2sJegYBScC5kUrLg4/s200/KMMauthor.jpg" border="0" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5600189628298151826" /></a><br /><div>In the midst of the darkness of being so alone caring for our twin infants, light came by way of a book: "<a href="http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/1590304616/ref=s9_simi_gw_p14_i1?pf_rd_m=ATVPDKIKX0DER&pf_rd_s=center-2&pf_rd_r=1PNV1G7JRTRHW4AYBEBQ&pf_rd_t=101&pf_rd_p=470938631&pf_rd_i=507846">Momma Zen: Walking the Crooked Path of Motherhood</a>."</div><br />With no family around, my husband working long, long hours out of town and no mom friends, I was lost. It was a dark place. (I have videos to prove it wasn't as dark as I remember it, though.) In fact, I can look back and see now how justified my feelings were with so little support.<br /><div><br /></div><div>In fact, I wrote a lot about it in the <a href="http://letterstomytwingirls.blogspot.com/2007/07/wheres-emoticon-for-guilt.html">blogosphere</a>.</div><br /><div>But, Karen Maezen Miller's book, which was given to me by one of my freelance editors, brought light to my soul with her simple ways of turning being a mother into a Zen practice. That practice continues today as I just let go to Trust. She is my friend, old Trust. She tells me to sit back with a bucket of popcorn and wait for the answers. </div><div><br /></div><div>What makes Karen so good for mothers is that she often confesses to this being a difficult practice to do -- and she's a Zen Priest! </div><div><br /></div><div>I often think, Okay, if Karen sometimes gets angry and she's a priest, than I can't be that terrible of a person. Walk away, decompress ... return later, calmed. </div><div><br /></div><div>I've always been honest. Maybe too honest. The jury's still out on that one. I'm starting to claim my honesty as a source of beauty. Sometimes, my honesty is the only thing refreshing in the room, frankly. </div><div><br /></div><div>And, part of that honesty has been saying that being a mother is the most difficult job of my life. It's hard work being a parent and if we're not trying to help mothers and fathers in the village, we'll continue to have troubles.</div><div><br /></div><div>A lot of the reason parenting is difficult is because I make it so. I worry a lot. I am a control freak. I like things the way I like them. So ... in other words ... I have issues. </div><div><br /></div><div>But, most of the time -- not all of the time -- I take Karen's wisdom mixed with my own version of Buddhism and Zen and Spirituality and Faith and I try not to screw things up by letting things like a big pile of the most fine, powdery silver glitter sprinkled all over the dining room floor bother me. <b>I just really enjoy the Now a lot better when the rooms are clutter-free and the floors are clear of debris and that the air going into my lungs isn't filled with silvery glitter. That's just me, though. </b></div><div><br /></div><div>I met Maezen online four years ago when I did a random search of her book and found that she had started a little blog! I was literally jumping up and down when I found that. I've watched that little blog turn into a household name for many of my smart, fantastic blog (and now Twitter) friends even as I've taken a big backseat role in the blogosphere. I still love it so!</div><div><br /></div><div>And for four years, I've wanted to meet Maezen and give her the big hug that she deserves for helping this one mom -- and many, many more, I'm sure -- find comfort in the everyday of motherhood. I also want to thank her for these valuable lessons that are getting me through difficult times in my career as well. In fact, I'm a better person over all because of this Zen message she spreads.</div><div><br /></div><div>I'm happy to report that this Saturday, I will finally get to meet her in Washington, D.C. and give her the thanks she deserves for being the other honest woman in the room. I'll have all copies of my books and I'll be ready to <a href="http://www.lilomm.com/lil_omm/author_series.html">listen to her lesson</a> in person. Because I need it now just as ever. </div><div><br /></div><div>And I have a feeling I always will ... </div>Shawnhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16038370158284663729noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4433220867103745918.post-75009028025320411302011-01-18T15:02:00.007-05:002011-01-18T16:11:05.107-05:00The Sit-and-Do-Nothing Rule<div align="center">This post is inspired by a comment left on my <a href="http://livinglaughingwriting.blogspot.com/2011/01/time-is-abundant.html#comments">last blog post </a>about how to truly savor downtime and not feel guilty about it:<br /><br />"<em>Thanks for this! I found it from Tara Gentile's tweet, and I like it. My question is, how do you feel about your downtime? I've had an issue lately where everytime I have a little downtime, I end up feeling guilty for not doing something productive during that time--and yet, I'm still always yearning for that time to myself! It's such a destructive process. It would help if I had accomplished all the to do's before I have my downtime by scheduling all tasks like you suggested.</em>"<br /><br /><br />It is so. very. hard.<br /><br />And, at times, I still suffer from that guilty vibe as well.<br /><br />But, mostly, I have been able to really sit-and-do-nothing for a few minutes a day -- which hoenstly, in my world, is usually writing a list, doodling, writing, reading an inspiring book or meditating.<br /><br />Nothing.<br /><br />I see you twiddling your thumbs right now. I see the sweat from anxiety forming on your upper lip. I see your leg starting to twitch.<br /><br />I learned the sit-and-do-nothing technique with little kids. The well-intended advice is always "nap when they nap" ... but I always felt there was too much to do, or at worst, I couldn't actually sleep.<br /><br />So I implemented -- on the rare occassion -- the sit-and-do-nothing task. Close your eyes. Think about nothing but the sounds in the room. Breathe. Let your mind wander. Wander some more. Wonder.<br /><br />This is a tool I use more frequently now when I am overwhelmed with too much to do or too many things I want to do.<br /><br />Let's say I have a half hour and I have an hour's worth of work to do -- in other words, a typical half hour of my life. In fact, I often feel like a squirrel in the middle of the road -- you know when they can't decide what side of the road to run to -- the one they were aiming for or the one they just left? So, I instituted the sit-and do-nothing rule. Sit and do nothing not even watch TV, not even surf the Internets, not even talk to a person. Sit and do nothing and, like magic fairy dust falling on your shoulders, the answer: it always comes.<br /><br />Usually, the answer is to make dinner and never even get to the rest of the list ... but I digress.<br /><br />Sit and do nothing. That's it. It really is that simple.<br /><br />Man, the best ideas come to me in those moments.<br /><br />And I'm a much more relaxed crazy person after a sit-and-do-nothing. Still crazy. Still nutso. Still trying to do more than I can do in a single bound. But a little tiny bit saner.<br /><br />Peace to you and your sit-and-do-nothing state. </div>Shawnhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16038370158284663729noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4433220867103745918.post-59730733469165726622011-01-13T17:02:00.002-05:002011-01-13T17:16:44.234-05:00Time is abundantThere's this idea among human beings that I used to employ myself.<div><br /></div><div>If only I had more time, I could do ... X Y Z.</div><div><br /></div><div>More time and I could write my novel. More time and I could edit my short story. More time and I could find that unique job I've always wanted.</div><div><br /></div><div>I've been waiting around for more time all my life.</div><div><br /></div><div>Last year, when I finally finished my novel after 10 years, I learned the most valuable lesson in my life. Time is abundant. Even for busy working moms like myself. We can do this. We can make dreams a reality.</div><div><br /></div><div>Sometimes it means saying no and I've had to do that in some heartbreakingly hard ways this week, too. Sometimes, it means saying yes. </div><div><br /></div><div>This year, in nothing short of good New Year's Resolution-style, I made a commitment to something, well, someone.</div><div><br /></div><div>Myself.</div><div><br /></div><div>I vowed to fit things in that I've just never had the time for in the past. Writing is one. Exercise is another. Downtime is the last.</div><div><br /></div><div>How though? How can I, in a single day or week, work 40-Plus hours, be a great mother of twin girls, remain as a volunteer in my community and still be a writer and a wife and someone who cares and takes care of her body? How is that humanely possible?</div><div><br /></div><div>Until two weeks ago, I lived under this immense assumption that it wasn't possible and, lo and behold, it didn't have to be possible. By even considering doing all of these things in a single day, I was crazy. I held my own expectations up in the clouds. </div><div><br /></div><div>And then I had a wee bit of an epiphany. What if? What if I can do it? What if I can be all of these things in a single week? </div><div><br /></div><div>I thought it over and journaled about it and experimented with some ideas. And then it occurred to me. I didn't have to do it all each day. I just needed a schedule. </div><div><br /></div><div>I set out to fit it all in Monday through Friday. I work out/do yoga three mornings at 5 a.m. and I write/edit two mornings. I also add a little writing and editing in at night after the girls are asleep and that's also when I get some much-needed downtime to do nothing. And, my reward for doing all of this during the work week? I get to do whatever I want on Saturdays and Sundays. The result is much less stress. No more wondering when it will happen. No more wondering how it will happen. No more trying to squeeze it in during valuable weekend family time (unless I want to).</div><div><br /></div><div>I'm not sure why this never came to me before or why I made fitting it all in so complicated. </div><div><br /></div><div>But now that I'm so regimented, I truly believe that time is abundant. But I have to get up and say yes, yes this is going to happen today. Or it doesn't happen.</div><div><br /></div>Shawnhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16038370158284663729noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4433220867103745918.post-78918110420812518452011-01-01T21:02:00.006-05:002011-01-01T21:19:46.628-05:002011: A Year of Re-Reading<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEizBDDi37h0WUrNThpuMKG6eD9Z9cKsNL_jQ2g3byJKktQ15VBPLNigooJTmLqihpOER3IlFjwNBFQLMNpjzfBp_RMT5pocuKRgT6dfpBYXdNMyIYEo3XfWla94qsM-EQjblNCGi4EmiRQ/s1600/bookworm.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 180px; height: 240px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEizBDDi37h0WUrNThpuMKG6eD9Z9cKsNL_jQ2g3byJKktQ15VBPLNigooJTmLqihpOER3IlFjwNBFQLMNpjzfBp_RMT5pocuKRgT6dfpBYXdNMyIYEo3XfWla94qsM-EQjblNCGi4EmiRQ/s400/bookworm.jpg" border="0" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5557405614211406386" /></a><br />I covet books like people. Books have been and may always be my trophy lover. I display the best, the brightest, the ones that profoundly and amusingly changed me proudly on bookshelves. I dust them. And rearrange them. And breeze through their pages now and again with awe and admiration.<div><br /></div><div>But I never re-read them. </div><div><br /></div><div>Ever.</div><div><br /></div><div>Until now. This year, I have decided is my year. A year to re-read. A year to go back to the basics and seriously consider these books that have led me on a passion for writing novels. I want to study these favorites in a way only I can now: As someone who has written a novel. </div><div><br /></div><div>We have all said it and heard a million times -- to be a writer, you must first read. A lot. Well, I have read a lot. But that doesn't mean that I'm always retaining some of the reasons why these books are so great.</div><div><br /></div><div>Let me be clear. I am not reading the BBC lists or the NBC lists or even the Nobel lists. </div><div><br /></div><div>I am reading my list. These books that I am re-reading have stayed with me since Page One. Some have moved across state lines and into and out of up to a half dozen or more places I've called home. One has been with me since middle school.</div><div><br /></div><div>These are not just any books. These are 12 books that led me to write my own. These are the ones that inspired me along the years in my own relationships. They are the books that light me up. </div><div><br /></div><div>I've decided to do this in four parts. Each week, I will write about a different aspect of these books from a writer's standpoint (setting, narration, character arc and plot).</div><div><br /></div><div>I'm pretty excited to take on this project. And while it's not 365 books or even 52 books -- and while this is not an exhaustive list of books that I have loved or been awed by -- I am sure that I will learn a lot about writing and reading on this journey. I plan to share a lot with my readers as well!</div><div><br /></div><div>I am not sure why I never re-read books. Perhaps because the idea of knowing the ending makes it hard to keep my interest. That's why this will be a fun project. I'm reading just for the wisdom I can glean as a writer, as a novelist, as someone who hopes to have one of those shiny, beautiful trophies of her own.</div><div><br /></div><div>PHOTO CREDIT: <a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/rachels_sexy_photos/">RACHELLOVESTOLAUGH</a></div>Shawnhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16038370158284663729noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4433220867103745918.post-34303261121650667392010-12-27T06:44:00.008-05:002010-12-27T08:29:28.289-05:00A trusty list for parents<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjJmAOoQ-WiyVjCIoLo5iPef138su2AIe6fMBMehduuAUnDUIX__nyMg8OngiL1ivL6mmAI_RLrhEafES5eeFwpx6dW_-jCeHhZTK_OrdOB1wYPYDsfxWtjMaoya-fOpp6MoclTEWLRU2U/s1600/trust.jpg"><img style="float:left; margin:0 10px 10px 0;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 200px; height: 200px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjJmAOoQ-WiyVjCIoLo5iPef138su2AIe6fMBMehduuAUnDUIX__nyMg8OngiL1ivL6mmAI_RLrhEafES5eeFwpx6dW_-jCeHhZTK_OrdOB1wYPYDsfxWtjMaoya-fOpp6MoclTEWLRU2U/s200/trust.jpg" border="0" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5555334574852201458" /></a><br />I've been off track, again ... lost because of lack of time because being a mom has me spinning in confusion and chaos. I'm lost because of trying to be something I am not. I can't hide any of these roles that I play every single day. <div><br /></div><div>It's hard having a writer's heart ... and being a parent. Shit, it's hard being a parent.</div><div><br /></div><div>I'm reading a great book right now (more on that in another post) that I bought with a Christmas gift certificate from my amazing husband. I needed something real. I needed something honest. I needed something inspirational that only a really good book can provide. </div><div><br /></div><div>Amazingly, I found just the right book in a short trip into the store. Thus, writing here again. </div><div><br /></div><div>After just one little chapter of reading the new book, I was in the kitchen, making quiche and listening to Emmy Lou Harris, when I had a parenting epiphany to write a soothing message for myself. And when I was finished, I wondered if I should share it with others. </div><div><br /></div><div>For those with amazing kids. For those with kids who are not so amazing now and then. For those who write with kids. For those who care for kids. For those who are the most patient -- and the not so patient. For those who now and then want to lose their shizz because their kids are, well, testing them in various ways like kicking and smacking their siblings.</div><div><br /></div><div>And, this little list of mine was also inspired by this <a href="http://mommazen.blogspot.com/2007/10/parents-little-list-of-trust.html">other little list of trust</a> by Momma Zen who became a good friend years ago around the time she wrote her list. I write my list for all the parents traveling this road behind me and in honor of all those who have gone before me. Only we, the parents, know what is best. And yet we know nothing at all. We just have to learn to trust.</div><div><br /></div><div><b>A Trusty list for Parents</b></div><div><br /></div><div style="margin-top: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; background-color: transparent; "><span id="internal-source-marker_0.8911482780240476" style="font-size: 11pt; font-family: Arial; color: rgb(0, 0, 0); background-color: transparent; font-weight: normal; font-style: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap; ">Trust that they know when they are not hungry.</span><br /><span style="font-size: 11pt; font-family: Arial; color: rgb(0, 0, 0); background-color: transparent; font-weight: normal; font-style: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap; ">Trust when they are.</span><br /><span style="font-size: 11pt; font-family: Arial; color: rgb(0, 0, 0); background-color: transparent; font-weight: normal; font-style: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap; ">Trust that they will eat just fine some day.</span><br /><span style="font-size: 11pt; font-family: Arial; color: rgb(0, 0, 0); background-color: transparent; font-weight: normal; font-style: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap; ">Trust that they might not.</span><br /><span style="font-size: 11pt; font-family: Arial; color: rgb(0, 0, 0); background-color: transparent; font-weight: normal; font-style: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap; ">Trust that they will sleep when tired.</span><br /><span style="font-size: 11pt; font-family: Arial; color: rgb(0, 0, 0); background-color: transparent; font-weight: normal; font-style: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap; ">Trust that they will rise when they are done sleeping.</span><br /><span style="font-size: 11pt; font-family: Arial; color: rgb(0, 0, 0); background-color: transparent; font-weight: normal; font-style: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap; ">Trust when they have had a bad dream.</span><br /><span style="font-size: 11pt; font-family: Arial; color: rgb(0, 0, 0); background-color: transparent; font-weight: normal; font-style: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap; ">Trust when the blankets aren’t just so.</span><br /><span style="font-size: 11pt; font-family: Arial; color: rgb(0, 0, 0); background-color: transparent; font-weight: normal; font-style: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap; ">Trust that they truly cannot go back to sleep.</span><br /><span style="font-size: 11pt; font-family: Arial; color: rgb(0, 0, 0); background-color: transparent; font-weight: normal; font-style: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap; ">Trust that they’ve had enough.</span><br /><span style="font-size: 11pt; font-family: Arial; color: rgb(0, 0, 0); background-color: transparent; font-weight: normal; font-style: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap; ">Trust when they haven’t.</span><br /><span style="font-size: 11pt; font-family: Arial; color: rgb(0, 0, 0); background-color: transparent; font-weight: normal; font-style: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap; ">Trust when their harsh words mean something more.</span><br /><span style="font-size: 11pt; font-family: Arial; color: rgb(0, 0, 0); background-color: transparent; font-weight: normal; font-style: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap; ">Trust when their harsh words are just words.</span><br /><span style="font-size: 11pt; font-family: Arial; color: rgb(0, 0, 0); background-color: transparent; font-weight: normal; font-style: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap; ">Trust that they love when they hate.</span><br /><span style="font-size: 11pt; font-family: Arial; color: rgb(0, 0, 0); background-color: transparent; font-weight: normal; font-style: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap; ">Trust that they hate when they love.</span><br /><span style="font-size: 11pt; font-family: Arial; color: rgb(0, 0, 0); background-color: transparent; font-weight: normal; font-style: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap; ">Trust the process for making up.</span><br /><span style="font-size: 11pt; font-family: Arial; color: rgb(0, 0, 0); background-color: transparent; font-weight: normal; font-style: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap; ">Trust that they will make up.</span><br /><span style="font-size: 11pt; font-family: Arial; color: rgb(0, 0, 0); background-color: transparent; font-weight: normal; font-style: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap; ">Trust that they can work it out on their own.</span><br /><span style="font-size: 11pt; font-family: Arial; color: rgb(0, 0, 0); background-color: transparent; font-weight: normal; font-style: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap; ">Trust them.</span><br /><span style="font-size: 11pt; font-family: Arial; color: rgb(0, 0, 0); background-color: transparent; font-weight: normal; font-style: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap; ">Trust their hearts.</span><br /><span style="font-size: 11pt; font-family: Arial; color: rgb(0, 0, 0); background-color: transparent; font-weight: normal; font-style: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap; ">Trust their heads.</span><br /><span style="font-size: 11pt; font-family: Arial; color: rgb(0, 0, 0); background-color: transparent; font-weight: normal; font-style: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap; ">Trust their nice hands.</span><br /><span style="font-size: 11pt; font-family: Arial; color: rgb(0, 0, 0); background-color: transparent; font-weight: normal; font-style: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap; ">Trust their mean words.</span><br /><span style="font-size: 11pt; font-family: Arial; color: rgb(0, 0, 0); background-color: transparent; font-weight: normal; font-style: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap; ">Trust their friendship.</span><br /><span style="font-size: 11pt; font-family: Arial; color: rgb(0, 0, 0); background-color: transparent; font-weight: normal; font-style: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap; ">Trust their bonds to you.</span><br /><span style="font-size: 11pt; font-family: Arial; color: rgb(0, 0, 0); background-color: transparent; font-weight: normal; font-style: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap; ">Trust that they do get it.</span><br /><span style="font-size: 11pt; font-family: Arial; color: rgb(0, 0, 0); background-color: transparent; font-weight: normal; font-style: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap; ">Trust that they understand.</span><br /><span style="font-size: 11pt; font-family: Arial; color: rgb(0, 0, 0); background-color: transparent; font-weight: normal; font-style: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap; ">Trust that they do not understand.</span><br /><span style="font-size: 11pt; font-family: Arial; color: rgb(0, 0, 0); background-color: transparent; font-weight: normal; font-style: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap; ">Trust that this too shall pass.</span><br /><span style="font-size: 11pt; font-family: Arial; color: rgb(0, 0, 0); background-color: transparent; font-weight: normal; font-style: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap; ">Trust that this too shall escalate to something else.</span><br /><span style="font-size: 11pt; font-family: Arial; color: rgb(0, 0, 0); background-color: transparent; font-weight: normal; font-style: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap; ">Trust that there will always be another phase.</span><br /><span style="font-size: 11pt; font-family: Arial; color: rgb(0, 0, 0); background-color: transparent; font-weight: normal; font-style: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap; ">Trust when they say no.</span><br /><span style="font-size: 11pt; font-family: Arial; color: rgb(0, 0, 0); background-color: transparent; font-weight: normal; font-style: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap; ">Trust when they say uh-uh. </span><br /><span style="font-size: 11pt; font-family: Arial; color: rgb(0, 0, 0); background-color: transparent; font-weight: normal; font-style: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap; ">Trust when they giggle. </span><br /><span style="font-size: 11pt; font-family: Arial; color: rgb(0, 0, 0); background-color: transparent; font-weight: normal; font-style: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap; ">Trust when they say they can do it.</span><br /><span style="font-size: 11pt; font-family: Arial; color: rgb(0, 0, 0); background-color: transparent; font-weight: normal; font-style: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap; ">Trust when they say they need help.</span><br /><span style="font-size: 11pt; font-family: Arial; color: rgb(0, 0, 0); background-color: transparent; font-weight: normal; font-style: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap; ">Trust when yes means no.</span><br /><span style="font-size: 11pt; font-family: Arial; color: rgb(0, 0, 0); background-color: transparent; font-weight: normal; font-style: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap; ">Trust when no means yes.</span><br /><span style="font-size: 11pt; font-family: Arial; color: rgb(0, 0, 0); background-color: transparent; font-weight: normal; font-style: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap; ">Trust when they say they love you.</span><br /><span style="font-size: 11pt; font-family: Arial; color: rgb(0, 0, 0); background-color: transparent; font-weight: normal; font-style: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap; ">Trust when they say they hate you.</span><br /><span style="font-size: 11pt; font-family: Arial; color: rgb(0, 0, 0); background-color: transparent; font-weight: normal; font-style: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap; ">Trust when they say nothing at all.</span><br /><span style="font-size: 11pt; font-family: Arial; color: rgb(0, 0, 0); background-color: transparent; font-weight: normal; font-style: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap; ">Trust when their faces say everything.</span><br /><span style="font-size: 11pt; font-family: Arial; color: rgb(0, 0, 0); background-color: transparent; font-weight: normal; font-style: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap; ">Trust when their faces say nothing.</span><br /><span style="font-size: 11pt; font-family: Arial; color: rgb(0, 0, 0); background-color: transparent; font-weight: normal; font-style: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap; ">Trust when times get tough.</span><br /><span style="font-size: 11pt; font-family: Arial; color: rgb(0, 0, 0); background-color: transparent; font-weight: normal; font-style: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap; ">Trust that times will get tough.</span><br /><span style="font-size: 11pt; font-family: Arial; color: rgb(0, 0, 0); background-color: transparent; font-weight: normal; font-style: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap; ">Trust when times turn wonderful.</span><br /><span style="font-size: 11pt; font-family: Arial; color: rgb(0, 0, 0); background-color: transparent; font-weight: normal; font-style: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap; ">Trust that they will be wonderful. </span><br /><span style="font-size: 11pt; font-family: Arial; color: rgb(0, 0, 0); background-color: transparent; font-weight: normal; font-style: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap; ">Trust that love is enough.</span><br /><span style="font-size: 11pt; font-family: Arial; color: rgb(0, 0, 0); background-color: transparent; font-weight: normal; font-style: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap; ">Trust that love isn’t enough.</span><br /><span style="font-size: 11pt; font-family: Arial; color: rgb(0, 0, 0); background-color: transparent; font-weight: normal; font-style: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap; ">Trust your heart. </span><br /><span style="font-size: 11pt; font-family: Arial; color: rgb(0, 0, 0); background-color: transparent; font-weight: normal; font-style: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap; ">Trust your Yeses.</span><br /></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; white-space: pre-wrap; ">Trust your Nos.</span> </div><div>Trust yourself.</div><div>Trust your kids.</div><div>Trust that there will be another day to get it right.</div><div><br /></div><div>Photo credit: <a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/poveralice/">Valeria</a></div>Shawnhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16038370158284663729noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4433220867103745918.post-59717358755129619652010-12-01T12:10:00.005-05:002010-12-01T12:24:03.719-05:00December 1st means only one thingAdvent.<br /><br />Not just any advent calendar. An activity advent. This means that we don't just throw (more) candy into a box and count the day. No, we spend quality time together, usually laughing and doing awe-inspiring things, like wrapping each other up in green crepe paper and pretending we're Christmas trees. This year, we're adding a race to see who can wrap each other up fastest with toilet paper, black buttons and scarves to become snowladies and one snowman.<br /><br />This year, the list is the best ever because I've done this for the third year and now know the best ones to do.<br /><br />Granted, I realize that I am ridiculous about this and go way overboard but I look at it as a way to fill the entire month of December with spirit and joy and love. Also, I do two activites a day so that each girl (twins!) gets to pull a card out of the stocking. To see previous years, go here and here.<br /><br />Here are some of the things we're doing:<br /><br /><br />1.Make list -- sing carols<br />2.Look for color red -- dance party<br />3.A joke -- city light up night<br />4. Decorate the doors -- visit santa<br />5. Movie night -- make cookies<br />6. Paint nails red and green -- make gift tags<br />7. Play with cookie cutters -- mail cards <br />8. Hang candy canes -- snowscapes with shaving cream<br />9. Find the color green -- camp under the tree<br />10. Drink hot chocolate -- read around the tree<br />11.Count the red lights -- christmas magic<br />12.<a href="http://familyfun.go.com/christmas/christmas-games/family-tree-706572/">Family tree activity </a>-- make cards for teachers<br />13. Make homemade gifts -- be an elf for the night<br />14.Santa's helper/wrap a gift game -- create gift kits <br />15. Make choc. covered pretzels -- make seating cards <br />16. Pin the nose on rudolph game --write a Christmas story <br />17. Make ornaments/wrap gifts -- red and green snack<br />18. <a href="http://familyfun.go.com/playtime/sports-athletic-games/relays-races/wrap-race-825205/">Snowman Race </a>-- Light a candle in memory of dog Prince <br />19. Put on a christmas play -- eat dessert first<br />20. Create a winter alter -- jingle bell dance around the tree <br />21. Winter Solstice celebration -- star gaze<br />22. wear red and green -- eat breakfast for dinner<br />22.Jingle bells dance -- make sugar cone trees<br />23. Hand out gifts to teachers -- star watch<br />24. set out cookies and milk -- sprinkle <a href="http://www.howtodothings.com/holidays/how-to-make-magic-reindeer-food">magic reindeer food </a>outsideShawnhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16038370158284663729noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4433220867103745918.post-29670151902342704582010-10-22T21:23:00.002-04:002010-10-22T21:33:03.510-04:00The Creative Soul Rebirth<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjDs9Y5PSwDw92hmLlGQI5NjMd6DwidiMI2Wn2K4G21eUM59dCc-bovBCbBCzJKN_pNkcStPAQbEPd5t_MIEKBPRPZNTmC1tQer5tR-q8GOp6Ik4K_6s_z4msYB66A8PO4B-TYeuP_oye4/s1600/IMG_9444.JPG"><br /></a><br />My creative soul is in the middle of a rebirth, a coming-of-age that's long overdue, again. This happens every year this time, I realized recently. <div><br /></div><div>My love for the crisp fall air is deep but I have been having haunting memories of how this time of the year deeply hurts, too. My relationships are almost always strained and I am not communicating wisely to stay on top of that trend. I feel hurt that people don't see me or get me.<div><br /></div><div>Writing is such a powerful tool to be heard but it cannot help you be seen. Jen Lemen wrote some <a href="http://jenlemen.com/blog/?p=730">seriously awesome words about this </a>and, like many of her posts, I can't stop thinking about the amazing vulnerability of being seen.</div><div><br /></div><div>I've always worried about not being heard. I've always worried about not being taken seriously.</div><div><br /></div><div>But it all comes back to not being seen. <i><b>Really </b></i>seen.</div><div><br /></div><div>Authenticity has to be a combination of all of these things and truly not giving a shit about any of them. But I do still ... which is a wake-up call for me to wake up and start writing more and worrying less. </div><div><br /></div><div>But this is a lesson I learn over and over in life. It comes and goes like the tide, washing the memories away inch by inch. </div><div><br /></div><div>Life is not perfect yet and therefore we must keep drudging through the thick sands, creating our own legacies. </div></div>Shawnhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16038370158284663729noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4433220867103745918.post-63000978471184637852010-10-03T07:35:00.004-04:002010-10-03T08:05:40.252-04:00Special Guest Post: Magpie Girl<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg-uR_22LuuuJVI5ya_p-xwiW613CG_iiE_wigpB8hn8SdIcDXR0VLp3iwVg97Erm0Qk44Iddqa5sEfA8hlvU9ACn-DFrXekMMHwSWthYnYLC5SXFOsc0FMkhrh-l3USSADFAfAPDIDoto/s1600/BlogHer+avatar+sm.jpg"><img style="float:left; margin:0 10px 10px 0;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 200px; height: 148px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg-uR_22LuuuJVI5ya_p-xwiW613CG_iiE_wigpB8hn8SdIcDXR0VLp3iwVg97Erm0Qk44Iddqa5sEfA8hlvU9ACn-DFrXekMMHwSWthYnYLC5SXFOsc0FMkhrh-l3USSADFAfAPDIDoto/s400/BlogHer+avatar+sm.jpg" border="0" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5523789098193851650" /></a><br /><div style="text-align: center;"><br /></div><p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom:0in;margin-bottom:.0001pt;line-height: normal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">It can be really hard to navigate friendships as a creative person. So many people walk through life just going through the motions, hardly noticing the flits and flutters of their own dreams. Sometimes I feel people look at me strangely when they understand that I have dreams beyond raising my daughters and working.</span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom:0in;margin-bottom:.0001pt;line-height: normal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">A year or so ago, I discovered <a href="http://www.magpie-girl.com/">Magpie Girl</a> -- </span><span style="line-height: 115%; "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">Rachelle Mee-Chapman -- who has helped me find my creative identity through various exercises.</span></span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom:0in;margin-bottom:.0001pt;line-height: normal"><span style="line-height: 115%; "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">But, it was early on when I read her e-book <span class="Apple-style-span">"</span></span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 22px; "><span style="padding-top: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; margin-top: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; vertical-align: baseline; outline-style: none; outline-width: initial; outline-color: initial; background-image: initial; background-attachment: initial; background-origin: initial; background-clip: initial; background-color: transparent; border-top-style: none; border-right-style: none; border-bottom-style: none; border-left-style: none; border-width: initial; border-color: initial; text-decoration: none; "><span style="padding-top: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; margin-top: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; vertical-align: baseline; outline-style: none; outline-width: initial; outline-color: initial; background-image: initial; background-attachment: initial; background-origin: initial; background-clip: initial; background-color: transparent; border-top-style: none; border-right-style: none; border-bottom-style: none; border-left-style: none; border-width: initial; border-color: initial; text-decoration: none; "><span style="padding-top: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; margin-top: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; vertical-align: baseline; outline-style: none; outline-width: initial; outline-color: initial; background-image: initial; background-attachment: initial; background-origin: initial; background-clip: initial; background-color: transparent; border-top-style: none; border-right-style: none; border-bottom-style: none; border-left-style: none; border-width: initial; border-color: initial; text-decoration: none; "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><span class="Apple-style-span">SoulRetreats: How to host a tribe with art and soul"</span> and was instantly inspired to to find my own tribe</span></span></span></span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium; line-height: 22px; "> of like-minded, creative people. That has turned into a small but beautiful book club. I hope to someday turn the idea into a retreat, as her book suggests. </span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom:0in;margin-bottom:.0001pt;line-height: normal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium; line-height: 22px; ">This is not the first online friendship to lead me to amazing creative exploration. I've had many online friends over the last three years.</span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom:0in;margin-bottom:.0001pt;line-height: normal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 22px; font-size: medium; ">Rachelle is doing 30 Stories in 30 days in honor of her birthday this month. She's here visiting today, on my blog, to answer this question I asked her about In Real Life vs. Online friendships:</span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom:0in;margin-bottom:.0001pt;line-height: normal"><b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><span class="Apple-style-span"><br /></span></span></b></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom:0in;margin-bottom:.0001pt;line-height: normal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><b><span class="Apple-style-span">Q: How do you balance between IRL and o</span></b></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium; "><b><span class="Apple-style-span">nline friendships? Are they the same or different for you?</span></b></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom:0in;margin-bottom:.0001pt;line-height: normal"><o:p><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><span class="Apple-style-span"> </span></span></o:p></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom:0in;margin-bottom:.0001pt;line-height: normal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><span class="Apple-style-span">Because of my deep dependence on online friendships during my 3 years abroad, I tend to think of IRL and online friendships as being very similar. For a long time there was great debate in the blogosphere about community and friendsh</span></span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom:0in;margin-bottom:.0001pt;line-height: normal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><span class="Apple-style-span">ip online. Was there really a “there” there? My answer, unequivocally, is “Yes.” <o:p></o:p></span></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom:0in;margin-bottom:.0001pt;line-height: normal"><o:p><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><span class="Apple-style-span"> </span></span></o:p></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom:0in;margin-bottom:.0001pt;line-height: normal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><span class="Apple-style-span">We cannot always have our </span></span><a href="http://www.magpie-girl.com/tag/soultribes/"><span class="Apple-style-span"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><span class="Apple-style-span">soultribe</span></span></span></a><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><span class="Apple-style-span"> at nearby IRL (in real life). We might live in a community that doesn’t “get” us. We might live in a country where we don’t speak the language. We might travel a lot. We might be ill and unable to make the dinner party rounds. Thankfully, online community can help bridge the gap. With the advent of blogging, social networking sites like Facebook, and specific-topic communities managed by programs like Ning, there are lots of options for online connection.<o:p></o:p></span></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom:0in;margin-bottom:.0001pt;line-height: normal"><o:p><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><span class="Apple-style-span"> </span></span></o:p></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom:0in;margin-bottom:.0001pt;line-height: normal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><span class="Apple-style-span">When I </span></span><a href="http://www.magpie-girl.com/tag/immigrant-diaries/"><span class="Apple-style-span"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><span class="Apple-style-span">moved abroad to Denmark</span></span></span></a><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><span class="Apple-style-span"> the online community was a HUGE source of support, resource and camaraderie. Wit</span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><span class="Apple-style-span">hout the “there” that was there, I would have been completely isolated. As I left my IRL life friends on the other side of a 9hour time difference, the internet friends became my comfort and my colleagues. As my online friend </span></span><a href="http://melaniemartinphotography.com/"><span class="Apple-style-span"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><span class="Apple-style-span">Melanie Martin</span></span></span></a><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><span class="Apple-style-span"> puts it, Twitter is “my tearoom” – a place to take a break from writing and have a chat ove</span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><span class="Apple-style-span">r a cuppa. Facebook, IM chats, and Skype video talks kept me connected on work projects, and people I knew only over the internet like Leonie Allen and Susannah Conway became my coaches and colleagues. And over the years, both before and since Copenhagen, blog crushes and online pals have become friends, work partners and soulsisters IRL as well. </span></span><a href="http://jenlemen.com/blog/"><span class="Apple-style-span"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><span class="Apple-style-span">Jen Lemen</span></span></span></a><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><span class="Apple-style-span">, </span></span><a href="http://www.thewordcellar.com/"><span class="Apple-style-span"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><span class="Apple-style-span">Jennifer McGuiggian</span></span></span></a><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><span class="Apple-style-span">, </span></span><a href="http://artbyjolie.com/stories/"><span class="Apple-style-span"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><span class="Apple-style-span">Jolie Guillebeau</span></span></span></a><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><span class="Apple-style-span">, </span></span><a href="http://www.livingsexuality.com/"><span class="Apple-style-span"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><span class="Apple-style-span">Becky Knight</span></span></span></a><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><span class="Apple-style-span">, </span></span><a href="http://www.coffeestainedclarity.com/"><span class="Apple-style-span"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><span class="Apple-style-span">Bethany Basset,</span></span></span></a><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><span class="Apple-style-span"> </span></span><a href="http://freelanceunconventionalnun.blogspot.com/"><span class="Apple-style-span"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><span class="Apple-style-span">J.Renee Pekol</span></span></span></a><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><span class="Apple-style-span">, and </span></span><a href="http://sexandfaith.wordpress.com/"><span class="Apple-style-span"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><span class="Apple-style-span">Jessica Schafer</span></span></span></a><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><span class="Apple-style-span"> are all online acquaintances who have I have personally hugged. (Bethany and I even had our first IRL TweetUp on an overnight girl’s weekend to Rome!)</span></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom:0in;margin-bottom:.0001pt;line-height: normal"><o:p><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><span class="Apple-style-span"> </span></span></o:p></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom:0in;margin-bottom:.0001pt;line-height: normal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><span class="Apple-style-span">On the other hand, there’s s</span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><span class="Apple-style-span">omething special that happens when you can meet someone face to face. I was recently able to meet up with photographer </span></span><a href="http://www.darrahparker.com/"><span class="Apple-style-span"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><span class="Apple-style-span">Darrah Parker</span></span></span></a><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><span class="Apple-style-span">, someone I previously knew only on line. In 90 minutes over coffee we were able to brainstorm and problem-solve more work related stuff than we could have in dozens of Tweets. And by meeting each IRL we got a more nuanced understanding of each other’s work and way of communicating.</span></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom:0in;margin-bottom:.0001pt;line-height: normal"><o:p><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><span class="Apple-style-span"> </span></span></o:p></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom:0in;margin-bottom:.0001pt;line-height: normal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><span class="Apple-style-span">Now that I’m back on home turf in Seattle, I have less time to run the social networking gauntlet online. But I still try to stay connected with online and IRL friends based on the same general rule of thumb. IRL I would spend time with people who <o:p></o:p></span></span></p> <p class="MsoListParagraphCxSpFirst" style="margin-bottom:0in;margin-bottom:.0001pt; mso-add-space:auto;text-indent:-.25in;line-height:normal;mso-list:l0 level1 lfo1"></p><ul><li><span style="font:7.0pt "Times New Roman""><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><span class="Apple-style-span"> </span></span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><span class="Apple-style-span">Make an effort to keep in touch.</span></span></li><li><span style="font:7.0pt "Times New Roman""><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><span class="Apple-style-span"> </span></span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><span class="Apple-style-span">Have interests that are similar to mine or which intrigue me.</span></span></li><li><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><span class="Apple-style-span"></span></span><span style="font:7.0pt "Times New Roman""><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><span class="Apple-style-span"> </span></span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><span class="Apple-style-span">Who make me laugh; and who can have a meaningful conversation.</span></span></li></ul><p></p> <p class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="margin-bottom:0in;margin-bottom: .0001pt;mso-add-space:auto;line-height:normal"><o:p><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><span class="Apple-style-span"> </span></span></o:p></p> <p class="MsoListParagraphCxSpLast" style="margin:0in;margin-bottom:.0001pt; mso-add-space:auto;line-height:normal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><span class="Apple-style-span">The same is true with my online connections.<o:p></o:p></span></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom:0in;margin-bottom:.0001pt;line-height: normal"><o:p><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><span class="Apple-style-span"> </span></span></o:p></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom:0in;margin-bottom:.0001pt;line-height: normal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><span class="Apple-style-span">I do have one warning sign that I am spending too m</span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium; ">uch time online in general – when I started doing that vague clicking around thing, triple checking for new email/Facebook updates/tweets, and generally trying to find the miracle answer to what’s bugging me online. Do you know what I mean? When I start thinking the answer to life could be found if I could just find the right thing to click on, it’s time to log off!</span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom:0in;margin-bottom:.0001pt;line-height: normal"><o:p><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><span class="Apple-style-span"> </span></span></o:p></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom:0in;margin-bottom:.0001pt;line-height: normal"><b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><span class="Apple-style-span">What about you?</span></span></b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><span class="Apple-style-span"> How do you related to</span></span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom:0in;margin-bottom:.0001pt;line-height: normal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><span class="Apple-style-span"> your online and IRL connections? What are your warning signs for you that you are going off-balance with how you spend your time between the two? Is there a real “there” there for you in online communities? We’d love to hear your thoughts because “there ain’t know where to go but </span></span><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><span class="Apple-style-span">together.”<o:p></o:p></span></span></i></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom:0in;margin-bottom:.0001pt;line-height: normal"><i><o:p><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><span class="Apple-style-span"> </span></span></o:p></i></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom:0in;margin-bottom:.0001pt;line-height: normal"><i><o:p><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><span class="Apple-style-span"> </span></span></o:p></i></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;"><b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><span class="Apple-style-span"><br /></span></span></b></p><img src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgZDlnX_ahzsAVU9_52HdQWP5wxcM7jxAk1YsEHt2YZPKAH66zbqleqqoUaPvNhLCdvfZ0UBTfvOODD1V3DbcU7xDFz6-hWRIdbNltwSnSSu4s-TfI6Kn_wv3QF7WyANfReiW8t4n5m7mA/s400/Magpie+Girl+Ad+Bird.jpg" style="text-align: left;display: block; margin-top: 0px; margin-right: auto; margin-bottom: 10px; margin-left: auto; cursor: pointer; width: 120px; height: 120px; " border="0" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5523786109205891698" /><p class="MsoNormal"><b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><span class="Apple-style-span">R</span></span></b><b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><span class="Apple-style-span">achelle Mee-Chapman</span></span></b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><span class="Apple-style-span">, specializes in customized soulcare for spiritual misfits. She works with clients at </span></span><a href="http://www.magpie-girl.com/"><span class="Apple-style-span"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><span class="Apple-style-span">Magpie Girl</span></span></span></a><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><span class="Apple-style-span"> to help them find a spirituality that fits; and hosts </span></span><a href="http://flock.magpie-girl.com/"><span class="Apple-style-span"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><span class="Apple-style-span">Flock</span></span></span></a><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><span class="Apple-style-span">, an online soulcare community. You can learn more about her creative approach in her free ecourse, </span></span><a href="http://www.magpie-girl.com/magpie-speak-a-new-language-for-soulcare/"><i><span class="Apple-style-span"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><span class="Apple-style-span">Magpie Speak:</span></span></span></i></a><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><span class="Apple-style-span"> a new vocabulary for soulcare.</span></span></i></p><p class="MsoNormal"><i> </i><a href="http://www.facebook.com/#!/rachelle.meechapman"><span class="Apple-style-span"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><span class="Apple-style-span">Friend</span></span></span></a><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><span class="Apple-style-span"> :: </span></span><a href="http://twitter.com/magpiegirl"><span class="Apple-style-span"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><span class="Apple-style-span">Follow</span></span></span></a><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><span class="Apple-style-span"> :: </span></span><a href="http://www.magpie-girl.com/magpie-girl-mailing-lists/"><span class="Apple-style-span"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><span class="Apple-style-span">Presents!</span></span></span></a><o:p></o:p></p>Shawnhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16038370158284663729noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4433220867103745918.post-29022208539566822422010-10-01T21:00:00.005-04:002010-10-01T21:22:34.918-04:00How to be a writer<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgt9dWOpE4nbUBa7cfN3NCK6_hod-26aKwI-LUFOerbdibZpKWaY5-MHAgum8OrqB8O-gT-aV-mMobiB-MbBOIywregiCubJn3JXT0RuQGJRIdpr24prlDV3EPszE4Qhw1B3XvT6LKHr4w/s1600/words.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 240px; height: 178px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgt9dWOpE4nbUBa7cfN3NCK6_hod-26aKwI-LUFOerbdibZpKWaY5-MHAgum8OrqB8O-gT-aV-mMobiB-MbBOIywregiCubJn3JXT0RuQGJRIdpr24prlDV3EPszE4Qhw1B3XvT6LKHr4w/s400/words.jpg" border="0" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5523252442005592610" /></a><br />We've been starting our weekends lately playing outside, often at a local park, sometimes with a picnic dinner. Even as the weather gets colder -- especially as it gets colder -- we find being out there, as a family, is a booster to our time together.<div><br /></div><div>Tonight, at the start of October, the reality of what we're facing set in. The sun set at just 7:15 p.m. Darkness took over and many families like ours, shuffled quickly into cars and headed home. </div><div><br /></div><div>Summer is gone. Long gone now. Soon, those of us with cold, snowy winters will be hibernating in the midst of winter's grips, wishing for the warm weather but relishing the holidays and building snow creatures.</div><div><br /></div><div>And yet tonight was so peaceful, so full of hope. The pink sky illuminated every tree branch, every blade of grass, every building and I found myself peering into windows of homes lived in by people we do not know.</div><div><br /></div><div>There are so many people we will never meet. I wondered, briefly, who I am yet to meet.</div><div><br /></div><div>I had this same thought tonight about writers and books. There are so many writers whose words I will never read. Writers who shed tears, probably, over the fact that they didn't have enough time, enough skill, enough ideas to be a writer. And yet they did it. They had the willpower, the gumption to write their own story to become an author and sell books. </div><div><br /></div><div>Is it that simple? Just forging forward with nothing but finishing in mind? I hope so. </div><div><br /></div><div>My fearless writing class starts next week! Time to start prepping and planning for how it will flow -- and, how, I will be turning it into an online adventure. Super exciting.</div><div><br /></div><div>Please stay tuned for a great guest post on Sunday.</div><div><br /></div><div>Photo credit: Big thanks to <a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/jkonig/">JKonig</a></div>Shawnhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16038370158284663729noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4433220867103745918.post-50678013909855012062010-09-26T20:15:00.003-04:002010-09-26T20:33:13.801-04:00Ready. Set. Go!<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjGtHDU11y4mRNWgLcDO_SXZ5jn6TxHWfImi8PlfQphQJikUPDhQ5oqiwGdxC6O0JAVOjcozPmGyXmKOM4wEcfn5Tayk8SUjiwZQJtpneVB8Q4SNY1-5xbxsoiwpafg3TSAIfIutoC93bk/s1600/hottea.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 266px; height: 400px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjGtHDU11y4mRNWgLcDO_SXZ5jn6TxHWfImi8PlfQphQJikUPDhQ5oqiwGdxC6O0JAVOjcozPmGyXmKOM4wEcfn5Tayk8SUjiwZQJtpneVB8Q4SNY1-5xbxsoiwpafg3TSAIfIutoC93bk/s400/hottea.jpg" border="0" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5521384053340799106" /></a><br />While I'm nursing a sore throat and an overall sense of yuckiness this Sunday night, I'm also doing lots of planning and plotting for the Fearless Writing class that starts in a little less than two weeks. <div><br /></div><div>It's such good timing as I am slowly rising up from this terrible, awful, no good funk and learning a lot about courage. Courage to know when toxic habits aren't fruitful. Courage to know when enough is enough. Courage to know who to let in, and who to let go.</div><div><br /></div><div>Mostly, courage to just wait out this storm and ride the waves, knowing that this, too, shall pass. Courage to set writing aside. Real writing, anyway. I've filled up journals upon journals lately so the hand is still working. The words do still flow. But what I've had to say hasn't been worth sharing. </div><div><br /></div><div>Courage takes shape in many ways. Some days, courage is just putting all of our dreams aside to take care of children, to just be with them. Or to take care of good friends. Or to add just one more -- oh it can't be so -- thing to our day to just show someone that we care.</div><div><br /></div><div>I'm ready to see some creative progress this week. I printed out all 300+ pages of my manuscript last week. I'm back to blogging this week. I hope to settle down each night with at least one creative goal in mind -- to write again. Real writing. The stuff that comes from my bones and stretches me to every edge. </div><div><br /></div><div>So long as this sore throat goes away ... </div><div><br /></div><div>Big huge thanks to <a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/chriscav/">Chrisc25 </a>for the photo!</div>Shawnhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16038370158284663729noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4433220867103745918.post-74142159478389456162010-09-16T06:28:00.005-04:002010-09-16T06:53:52.595-04:00Book Review: Four Word Self Help by Patti Digh<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi_uIpR92RVTJi8Iy9EAPI1ALTuTuzYGnBPNSQD9KMoLHN0_eLhgF1xzwFkPOYCxenW5rEuQxeLy_IggTsbtZs0YwIvrCK4H8IZCfumqd_ijVzXT0fMMDzXlGypo7AoM1wjN1w0lvy3YvA/s1600/four+word+self+help.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 288px; height: 400px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi_uIpR92RVTJi8Iy9EAPI1ALTuTuzYGnBPNSQD9KMoLHN0_eLhgF1xzwFkPOYCxenW5rEuQxeLy_IggTsbtZs0YwIvrCK4H8IZCfumqd_ijVzXT0fMMDzXlGypo7AoM1wjN1w0lvy3YvA/s400/four+word+self+help.jpg" border="0" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5517460604486390050" /></a><br />I've never been someone who needed self-help books. That's probably because I've always written through my problems in journals. I've kept nearly every single journal, too, to prove that.<div><br /></div><div>And yet recently I've found comfort in self help books by <a href="http://www.37days.com/my-books.html">Patti Digh</a>. Her first book, <a href="http://www.37days.net/liisve37dato.html">Life is a Verb</a>, is the result of our choice in my creative soul's book club, a group I formed this past spring. We all loved that book. It was so beautiful and full of wonderful stories.</div><div><br /></div><div>I had actually forgotten that I signed up to receive a review copy of her next book, <a href="http://www.37days.net/bofosesiwifo.html">Four Word Self Help: Simple Wisdom for Complex Lives.</a></div><div><br /></div><div>It arrived on a very low day for me, a day when I felt my world collapsing all around me. My values and honor system had been greatly compromised. And, to make matters worse, I had few people to talk to about any of it.</div><div><br /></div><div>I opened the box, and then book to find the sweetest, most lovely book I've ever laid my eyes on. It's full of wonderful quotes and original art, just like Life is a Verb, and yet it's so full of simple, short pieces of advice that I was able to read it in just one day. I finished it at bedtime, with a smile on my face. I've read it twice since.</div><div><br /></div><div>I have plans to buy it for a young woman I am mentoring and for a few people for Christmas. It's that lovely.</div><div><br /></div><div>My favorite pieces of advice in it (there are many):</div><div><br /></div><div>Eat less, Move more (always a needed reminder for me)</div><div>Give up Toxic people </div><div>Mean what you say</div><div>Embrace Solitude, not loneliness</div><div>Stop trying so hard</div><div>Let other people drive</div><div>Do Less, Be More</div><div><br /></div><div>The stories are full of deep, big-picture thoughts all in Patti style. I admit, Patti is truly one of my modern day heroes both for her strong, authentic writing voice and style as well as her fierce advocacy on social justice issues. </div><div><br /></div><div>I highly recommend both of her books, but especially Self Help as it's a neat little book that you can pull out of your purse or bookbag or briefcase in a moment's notice and just sink into and feel happy -- like when you're world is collapsing, or you just woke up on the wrong side of the bed. </div><div><br /></div>Shawnhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16038370158284663729noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4433220867103745918.post-2365919136740687962010-09-06T07:29:00.005-04:002010-09-06T08:09:29.150-04:00Sometimes you just can't write<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjLB63Gj_gjyadUcoZCVOM_UXYXfJBoha0mTuHRwxqO5Fp14pF7DU8elunpTAUmKQuRM6RNz_TDem3SYhADXr-oU1j0v8tbtdp_cQ0AoXKytYteI72SfjspDuY0AJd1l5GOq8_AFdZS8w8/s1600/I_Am_Enough%2520skc_300X300.jpg"><img style="TEXT-ALIGN: center; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; WIDTH: 300px; DISPLAY: block; HEIGHT: 300px; CURSOR: hand" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5513771472722832514" border="0" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjLB63Gj_gjyadUcoZCVOM_UXYXfJBoha0mTuHRwxqO5Fp14pF7DU8elunpTAUmKQuRM6RNz_TDem3SYhADXr-oU1j0v8tbtdp_cQ0AoXKytYteI72SfjspDuY0AJd1l5GOq8_AFdZS8w8/s400/I_Am_Enough%2520skc_300X300.jpg" /></a><br /><div>This was not the post I was going to write. It wasn't the one planned, and sitting unwritten in my head.<br /><br />But, sometimes, you just can't write. It's not that you don't want to or even that you don't have time. It's that other things, more pressing things, need to rise to the surface and be released before you can return to the page.<br /><br />This has been the case for me for the last week and a half. It's been utter nonsense, truly, but enough to raise all of my little emotional sensors that says enough is enough. <a href="http://www.traceyclark.com/iamenough/"><strong>You are enough</strong>.</a> You don't have to add <em><strong>one more thing</strong></em> to the mix.<br /><br />But, just because I know I can't write anything *great* right now, doesn't mean I shouldn't be working -- working on things with less emotional weight, working on stringing words together in any shape.<br /><br /><strong>Like lists.</strong> Oh, mercy, I love a good list. Just last night, in a fit of "I have to write something!" I wrote a wonderful Autumn to-do list. I sat under a comfy blanket next to a breezy window and used a brown marker from my little girls' stash and started. The list started off small but soon a wild amount of potential -- and creativity -- bled through that list, all of which left me feeling so excited.<br /><br /><strong>Character Sheets.</strong> I also started character sheets for my finished manuscript to use while editing. As I go through the book, I see so many inconsistencies on the minor details of my characters .... these sheets will help me nail it all down so that I can truly get through that thing ASAP.<br /><br /><strong>Poetry. Formerly written poetry.</strong> Knowing I had to do something, I started gathering ALL of my many journals and notebooks and scouring them for bits of gold and transferring that gold into a new, more final notebook to keep track of the good stuff. By doing this, I actually improved a few pieces drastically and realized I know a bit more about poetry than I like to admit to. Poetry is theraputic to write during a writing stop (this is not a creative block, by the way. But that's another post).<br /><br /><strong>Do something with your hands.</strong> I like to do mixed media collages when I'm frustrated. It works in harmony with my desire to use words but also create without rules. Since I am not a fine artist, I never feel like my paintings/collage need to be very good. Now and then, they aren't terrible.<br /><br /><strong>Play. Play. Play.</strong> Enough said on that.<br /><br /><strong>Finally, Read.</strong> Reading can take the place of writing solely by being the reading detective. Now, I admit, I wasn't a reading detective until I actually finished my first book. Now, I totally get it and it's rather freaking addictive. And, the result is that I often now cannot go to sleep from reading because I'm so hooked on uncovering it's little nuggets of writing. Still, it's a true must for any writer. Read everything you can get your hands on, in preparation.<br /><br />How about you? When you CAN'T write, what is it that you CAN do instead? When life is truly too busy, too chaotic, too problem-filled, how do you get your writing on? How do you stay in the game of creativity?</div>Shawnhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16038370158284663729noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4433220867103745918.post-68634593939600174112010-08-29T20:21:00.003-04:002010-08-29T20:32:36.352-04:00The best line ever<strong><em>"Make your own damn dinner because I'm making my own damn art." </em></strong><br /><br />Marion Lawrence<br /><br />I go to church with Marion and she's a talented woman who understands that art comes first before everything else. I loved this title of her sermon today and wanted to share it with you.Shawnhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16038370158284663729noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4433220867103745918.post-62115287979034908142010-08-24T19:21:00.003-04:002010-08-24T19:39:45.719-04:00Seasonal Shifts in Clarity and WritingThere's something about the smell of fall that triggers good, let's-start-over feelings internally for me. Its back-to-school, new year, new phase, new everything feeling actually feeds my New Year mentality more than the actual New Year.<br /><br />I know I am not alone in this. So many people -- women, mostly -- have been saying the same thing to me.<br /><br />I love the crunch, crunch, crunch of walking on baby acorns, gathering them up in my hands and understanding what they mean to this earth, this cycle of seasons.<br /><br />I often wonder what it's like to live in a place where there are no seasons. My Creative Soul is at the mercy of the seasons like my body is to water. When spring and summer fall upon my part of the world, I am at peace and create like a mad woman. Deep in the belly of winter and summer, I am scattered and lost and hardly productive at all.<br /><br />At least I finally understand this about my own rhythms and ebbs and flows and can embrace it, as frustrating at it is at the time.<br /><br />Still, fall brings with it so many other struggles such as loss of daylight and my inability to get myself out of bed early without a mean alarm clock. And yet that is exactly what I need to do to get things done.<br /><br />My friend Stacey, with her own blog, recently commented on developing a fall schedule. This is exactly what I have done for the last few years, not just for fall but for every season. I write lists upon lists of what my ideal schedule should look like -- when I'll exercise, when I'll write, when I'll enjoy the crisp, fall breeze. I will also write lists upon lists of seasonal gifts to enjoy such as picking apples and pumpkins, going for hayrides, hiking and walking through corn mazes, into the deep woods and, of course, cooking my seasonal favorites. I will spent most of my time outside, drinking wine and coffee and apple cider. And writing.<br /><br />Oh goodness, the writing. This season's writing can make my mind spin with excitement. I hope it doesn't disappoint. That is, if I can just hunker down and carve out the time much like carving out the features of a poet in a pumpkin.<br /><br />How about you? How will you fall into creativity as the season's change? Does cooler weather bring more clarity to your pursuits or not? I'm curious to know.Shawnhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16038370158284663729noreply@blogger.com1