Live * Laugh * Write

Refresh and Rejuvenate with a Non-cation

2011-07-26T11:49:00.006-04:00

I haven't been home in three years.

By home, I mean sitting at the kitchen table drinking my mom's coffee and eating what she cooks. Her food. I haven't been in her house, under her roof, being taken care of like a daughter should be now and then.

It's only our fault. The long, long drive with two little girls has been daunting enough to scare me from making the long trip the last two years. The budget never seems to accomodate a vacation. There's not enough time between board meetings, committee meetings, kid meetings, adult meetings, work meetings ... meetings, meetings, meetings!

The excuses are long, drawn out and unnecessary. The point is there hasn't been a real vacation in three years. The kind that takes you away, wisks you away, sails you away, floats you away.

And there won't be any again this year thanks to unemployment hitting our family. There's oddly no time now. I'm not sure how that works?

Nonetheless, we don't really need to go on a vacation. Of course, it would be nice. It would be really nice. But, when you live like today is your vacation, vacations aren't really needed. That's just been my motto.

And while the to-do list always outweighs many things, it never overpowers the living in our family. We haven't done a long stretch away but we do things to celebrate living and life and this world around us almost daily -- at the very least, weekly.

Vacations are meant to rejuvenate, refresh and enliven us again to what is our Ordinary life.

But, I love Ordinary very much. I love baking, and doing art projects and just swimming in the pool that we are blessed to have in our backyard. I love just doing nothing but snuggling on the couch with my family. And movie nights with popcorn and blankets and pillows.

So, while we won't be going away for vacation in August, as planned, I do intend to take some days off and seriously pretend that I am on vacation. Here's how:

Staycation: From lazy mornings and easy breakfasts to lounging by the pool, the best part of vacation is doing very little. I mean so little it is almost boring -- almost.

Re-discover the simple things: Hot tea and cookies for an afternoon snack. Wine over a meal. Fluffed up pillows. (A friend of mine even bought all white bedding once for their staycation). I'm freezing things like scones, granola and pancakes so that we can just heat up and enjoy.

Read: Read a travel book. Read about faraway places. Dream a lot. Maybe even devour a beach read by the pool.

Head to the water: Even if it's a day on the local lake being around water is relaxing. I plan to indulge a bit.

Do little cooking: I cook nearly every meal we ever eat -- from scratch. It's crazy but I love it. But, even I admit that it can burn a person out and that a week spared of throwing together big, fresh, local meals is dreamy. Dreamy, I tell you. I will do very little cooking.

Only clean the serious messes: Assuming the house is clean when you start -- and that you have to clean it when it's over -- a week is not too long to just let it all go. Really, it isn't. (right?)

Watch the stars and the sky: This is one of those subtle, life-changing moments that I'm oddly just sleeping through because, well, I do too many things and I'm tired. But I want to be outside, drinking a glass of wine and just relishing my smallness to this great wonder of the Earth.

More ways to vacation while not vacationing may come to me ... like find a quiet corner and just write all day ... but for now I just know that it's a pretty good plan. How about you? Do you have any ways to enjoy a stay-home-when-you-really-want-to-get-away for vacation, vacation?

Ordinary picnic turns magical

2011-07-10T17:33:00.004-04:00

I can't stand to do things the same way every day. Each week, I try hard to find small, loving ways to incorporate fun and creativity into our days. I'm always coming up with something.

Today, we created a living room picnic that, as soon as we sat down, became a Poetry Picnic. This is one or two steps up from a regular picnic.

It all began at our church service, which featured poetry from many poets. And, since it was too hot to go outside and we forgot one important thing at home, we decided to go home and have a picnic rather than head to a local park (which was the original plan.)

For me, this was a magical experience -- and I love turning ordinary days into magic.

Here's what you need to do this at your house soon. And, I encourage you to do it very soon.

Picnic fare. We always choose sandwiches because our girls like them and will eat them without fail -- important for a picnic. Always adding in fresh fruit like cherries, often yogurt and treats like potato chips and cookies that our regular meals rarely include.
Soft blanket. It's important to sit on the ground and lay around like lazy people for a picnic. Tables just aren't the same.
Fine drinks. A lovely strawberry lemonade would be great. But, in our world, juice boxes fit the crowd nicely.
Stacks of poetry books. If you don't have these readily at hand you can easily go to the library and get a couple anthologies out. We have many volumes of poetry so I just grabbed them all and sat leafing through them, picking the ones we liked best and that fit the moment.
Read aloud. Have everyone pick a favorite and read it. Then, if the spirit moves you as it does us, create your own poem. Songs are just poems to music, too, so if you have a living room picnic, you can put on a CD of your favorite songs and listen to that as well.

There you go. A poetry picnic. Nothing fancy but definitely jazzes up a Sunday lunch.

Fire Up Your Muse: A Writing Retreat

2011-07-07T19:16:00.008-04:00

Fire Up Your Muse

Let's face it. The demands of life are non-stop no matter what season you are in, no matter what phase of life you face. Your to-do lists outnumber your word counts. You are constantly wondering when -- maybe next week, next month, next year? -- things will finally settle enough, calm down enough to give you some much-needed time to tackle that creative project.

You've thought it a million times -- if you just had one day, a single day -- to focus on that one thing you love so much, expressing yourself on paper with real, wonderful, fabulous WORDS.

Life is short. You love to write. You have always wanted to dabble in writing. You're curious about how to start writing for the first time. Maybe you never stopped writing and the journals -- oh the journals -- are piling up on your nightstand.

I know. I feel the same exact way.

You are invited to retreat into the wilderness and write all day.

Saturday, Oct. 1st

Glen Rock, Pennsylvania

10 A.M. to 2:30 p.m.

(directions available upon registration)

This writing retreat is just for YOU. This is your time, your undivided attention to yourself and your mind. Your time to just be in one place for just one day, where time seems to almost stand still for a few precious hours.

Best of all, we toss out all those rules about grammar and spelling and punctuation that have you paralyzed to move your pen or pencil. Rules, schmules. They are nothing to us.

Fire Up Your Muse is designed to spark your creativity and expression. If you are someone who has a lot to say but often keep it stored in some dark corner of your mind, this retreat is for you. This is for you if you are trying to write for the first time in a long time.

Fire Up Your Muse will literally and figuratively set fire to those mental demons and loser critics that have been holding you back from finishing or starting a project. It will then fill you back up with positive energy that will stir your creative juices -- so that you can move onward and upward. You will leave inspired. I promise.

Fire Up Your Muse will give back some of that lost time you've been trying to find. Four hours, in fact. We'll even retreat into some yoga poses designed to get the mind relaxed.

Fire Up Your Muse will offer you time to write and work on your own project while uncovering some new ones that you never new you had inside your heart.

Fire Up Your Muse will help you learn to work through writer's blocks and press onward to face new, bigger dreams.

Fire Up Your Muse will show you how to shove fear aside and write in your authentic voice all while and turning writing into a daily (or weekly) practice.

You are a writer. Yes, you, sunshine.

Join me for this wonderFULL day.

Registration information:

Just $45.

Register on the lefthand sidebar

Then do a little happy dance

because you did this for YOURSELF.

Finding my way

2011-07-06T20:21:00.001-04:00

I've been resistant to a lot lately. Wondering if I'm wasting my personal time on things much bigger than me, much greater than me. "I can't do it," I heard myself say. "I don't have to do it," I said. "I don't want to do it," I said, almost in a temper tantrum.

Not without some anger, I pushed through and took some risks -- leading my first writing retreat, for instance. It was easy to tell myself why would anyone listen to me?

I resist what I fear.

Danielle LaPorte's piece on resisting success spoke wisely to my soul not long ago.

I have been struggling with for time with figuring out what my personal brand really, truly is going to be. I have many dreams. I am a renassiance soul, to the core. I have many interests and talents. I have many facets to my personality. I always feel close ... almost within reach of what my inner authentic power is and then, just like that, it slips through my fingertips and I'm left standing watching a cloud of dust dissolve into thin air.

I've had this feeling for some time now. A couple years. Long enough to know that it's constantly nagging at me. What am I supposed to be doing? Where do I belong?

It's funny, I can so easily coach others into figuring out what THEY should be doing with their lives but, for myself, this is a hard exercise. The list of ideas are too long. My brain is always all over the place. I want, often, what I cannot even dream of at this time due to a job and children.

Will I ever, ever figure out this mystery? Or, is the mystery the real honest picture? I'm a puzzle piece that just doesn't fit into the bigger picture? Not in a sad way but in a happy, this-is-me way?

Who doesn't love free things?

2011-07-03T14:56:00.003-04:00

I've been working on this surprise for all of you for a while. I love things that I can print from the big wide world of the Internet. Printables, as they are called, just speak to my inner list-maker and pile-maker.

This first printable is just that -- a first, a first in what I hope will be many more to come. I love the idea of creating and sharing art with the world.

Please sign up for my newsletter and receive your free printable within one day of signing up. It's that simple.

Now, bigger things to discuss ... what are you doing to live creatively this holiday weekend? I'm sitting and doing a lot of nothing. And reading. Basically, just being very gentle with myself after a very long and busy period of time. It's time to let go and relax. That means lots of writing ideas are flowing, too!

Celebrating and Gratitude

2011-06-20T06:30:00.004-04:00

I'm so grateful for so many things in this life -- this one precious life. I love the way the cool breeze hits my face first thing in the morning on an early walk. I love how each bird sings its own song, a mixture of peace and warning all at once. I love how people, all people, are so quirky and fun and annoying.

I love that we have so much to love in such time of disarray. I love the smell of warm, fresh coffee. I love how the kitchen floor is squeaky clean thanks to my husband. I love how little girls giggle late into the night and rise early excited for a regular Monday. I love how blueberry zucchini bread tastes so buttery and creamy, not at all like any other bread I've eaten.

I love how the days zip by but we still take time to celebrate, putting a single candle inside whatever we can -- a fig newton, a bowl of ice cream, a homemade chocolate truffle.

I love the feeling of walking far, so far away, that your cares just have to melt away because the phone, the computer, people are too far to touch. I love running, the feeling of my heart pounding in my chest -- a feeling new to me as I haven't much cared for running in the past. I love that feeling of adrenaline, of feeling powerful.

I love sitting outside and watching nothing and meditating on nothing and feeling peaceful when the to-do list is longer than a mile. I love crossing off that to-do list and feeling like I've accomplished something every single day. I love that today is the first day of summer camp and that when I told them they jumped up and down and squealed, clearly having no idea of what to expect. I love that they will learn the value of making new friends today and all week. I love that we're all here together, feeling so much love.

I love writing every morning, letting the thoughts flow and flow and flow without error, without perfection, without fear.

There's not enough hours in the day to prepare for what is to come so we have to just wait, let it happen how it will happen. It is what it is. We can't control this destiny anymore than we can control the children. But I do know it will be OK. We will be fine.

Today I will send love out into the world, as I have been trying to do. I will do my job to the best of my ability and we will see how it goes. I will take care of people and make sure that they are happy. That's really all that I can do. I have plenty to be happy about and I am filled with love for my life and my family.

That is really all that I have to do right now is love and trust. Love and Trust. Love and Trust. Love. And. Trust.

Success slips through her fingers

2011-06-13T06:19:00.013-04:00

All of my life, like many others, I have been chasing one dream after another. Each goal being a single step closer to that ultimate reality of success -- that feeling of finally making it. And yet, after each goal is realized, it's never enough. More is needed. More is desired. More power is wanted. More money. More respect. More. More. More.

Recently, I began reading, "The Gift of an Ordinary Day," by Katrina Kenison. At first I wasn't sure I wanted to keep reading it as it's mostly about raising adolescents and teenagers and considering that my daughters are only now starting school, I didn't think it would be relevant to my life. Only a few pages in, however, I did start to see some of the issues we'll have to encounter years from now and that the book, really, is almost a glimpse into the future. Kenison talks a great deal in the first couple chapters about success and what we expect that to mean for our children. Is getting the best grades on test what it means to be successful? I'm not sure, yet, as I know we have a lot to learn yet but I know for sure that I wasn't the best test taker. My grades were often low. I was easily distracted by more important things like being with my girlfriends and cheerleading and any other social event around. Perhaps I needed that since I was an only child and social interaction was lacking in my life at home.

By reading this book now, I'm given a great opportunity to set the stage for my girls, and the way they shape what being successful is about. It's not about having the most money but having enough money to enjoy life. It's not about climbing the corporate ladder but knowing how to balance doing a great job at work and having enough time to enjoy this One Great Life that we've been given. It's not about rising to the top, it's about feeling really good about where you are at any given moment -- like right now.

So will I stress when one of my girls gets a low grade or gets into trouble for having a little fun? I can't say for sure but what I do know is that they will be just fine no matter what and they haven't even started school. They will be just fine. I know this because they are happy, healthy children who like to know about the world around them and ask questions. If they grow up to be seekers and explorers who love to learn new things, I think that's pretty much perfection. If they grow up to be happy adults with lots of girlfriends around them, that's pretty ideal. If they grow up to travel the world and try new things, that's pretty fantastic. If they grow up to know what they like and do not like and aren't afraid to admit those details to anyone that's pretty wonderful. If they grow up and can speak their mind and not feel fear, that's pretty damn good. If they are passionate and kind -- oh so very kind -- that's pretty much all I can ask. If they grow up to have any of these traits, that's success to me.

They willl certainly have their own ideas about what it means to be successful and that's OK, too. We may differ on a few points and I will have to respect their choices and opinions. We, as their parents, have a big job to prepare them for the future that awaits them. I don't think a few dozen Straight As is the answer, though that certainly does help get one into college.

It feels good to think about what success is as I am struggling with that definition myself. It feels good for their sake and my own -- someone who has pretty high expectations of herself and what it means to be successful. I've come a long way to learn all of these great things about life and what it means to fully live, authentically, without fear and worry. Well, a little bit anyway. I still live with a little fear and worry, especially now, but particuarly right now it's timely to consider what we really need in life. Is it more money? Is it the best job? Or is it a happy family life and a happy household. Is it doing fun things and enjoying life to the fullest before we die? I think so. I really honestly think so. It's not going to be easy to pass this message along to our daughters, who already have pressures in their minds about things like the way their hair should be or what outfit to wear.

It's not going to be easy raising two very different girls to live authentically.

But I think I'm up for the challenge.

Photo Credit: Elma

The Fun Injection

2011-05-31T20:52:00.004-04:00

When was the last time you just let loose? You know, got up and danced for no reason, to no music?

My BFF from high school finally joined Facebook and, already, I feel that shimmer of that girl I used to be coming through in our posts and private messages. No one -- NO ONE -- knows me like she does. We have been apart for 11 years, since I moved away, and yet it takes about one sentence to bring us right back to where we left off. Nothing changes between us and yet we've changed a whole lot.

Language, inside jokes, cut-downs ... all in good fun, of course.

It makes me want to write about high school. Finally, perhaps? OK, maybe not. That might be too scary.

Actually, what would be scary is writing about middle school. Now, that's a drama I don't ever need to relive.

This fun injection, of sorts, has been a breath of fresh air at a time when things need to be lightened up.

This is when writing comes easily, when the heart is feeling light and happy and soaring to new heights.

It's not easy to work all day and then take care of children and still fit writing in so finding the Fun Factor is essential. We have to make writing fun, even when we aren't sure we can muster the energy to hit the keys or grab the pen -- or even the paintbrush. Creating is hard work but it's the most fulfilling work, for sure.

What's your fun factor? What makes you smile so easily? What silly thing could you curl up and write about right now? Please share in the comments and I might use your prompt for future writing exercises.

Writing -- and life -- is about balance

2011-05-27T20:20:00.006-04:00

By now, most people have heard that my husband lost his job. His position, along with the rest of the staff, was eliminated. Rather than cry a river, we're making the best of a crummy situation and getting resourceful. For now, we are OK.

For now.

It's so easy to get comfortable, to sink into a life that is familiar, like an old pair of sweats, and never want to leave. To think of change is to unravel. Our backs go up and we start to get defensive of that life that we grew to love so dearly.

In my last writing course, Fearless Writing, I talked a lot about taking risks, doing things differently and trying new things when all along I was doing the same thing every day as I do now. Sure, I take more risks than most but the big picture stuff, it all remains wrapped around me like a cozy blanket.

I don't want to sit on just any cushion in life. I like this one, the one that is perfectly molded to fit my body, thank you very much. I can no longer question why my daughters both are so attached to their little bear blankets that they've had since infancy. Of course they still need those. Of course.

And yet my cushion has been sucked out from underneath of me and we're having to adapt to the changes to the life we were so desperately clinging on to with no inclination it would change. The changes of routine and cushy bank accounts and getting used to a New Normal are upon us.

So much of this lesson has to do with writing. It's not easy to write when things are really good. It's always easier to let the tears flow and drip down onto the page. But that's not what a writer should do. A writer has to return to the page day after day for the good and for the bad. It's only in between all of that when we start to see ourselves and our writing for what it truly is in the balance.

I'm so looking forward to the writing retreat that I'm hosting so that we can walk in the balance together.

Like a grumpy bear -- it's time to wake up

2011-05-17T09:04:00.005-04:00

It has been a long, sloggy, wet Spring. And I feel much like a grumpy, hungry bear right now. A bear in need of nourishment and sunlight and energy to run and play, again.

This is exactly why I am hosting a writing retreat on a friend's very tranquil, very majestic farm. It's not a working farm but a lot of acres of rolling hills, intense beauty and nature all around.

That's how I get my energy, that's how I get filled up inside. Being outside, staring up at the sky and then writing it all down so fast -- as if it will slip away from memory if I do not.

We need creative nourishment almost as much as we need food and yet so many just ignore that little facet of their being. That same being who goes without a break, without something wonderful to cling on to ... will just slumber on, trod on, drag on watching the clock and crossing off their to-do list.

Do they dare to step outside and let their feet touch the dew-drenched grass? Do they stop and just lounge on the hammock or are they busy mopping and sweeping the floors? Do they ever just sit and do nothing, nothing at all?

Well, writing is on my to-do list every day and while I may not get to it every single day, I sure do want to try. And, believe it or not, we have more time than we think to write or paint or do any other Art we wish to do. This retreat will point that out in a few different head-bonking ways.

Please join me in Waking Up. Please join me in dragging ourselves out of spring and springing forth into summer. Please join me to write all day in the wonders of nature.

Peace.

Wake Up! A one-day writing retreat:

Forget the coffee. Wake up to the life that is already happening all around you. Pay attention. Let go. Be free. This one-day retreat on a farm in Glen Rock will help you discover 12 writing tools you can use anywhere, anytime in order to live a more mindful, creative life.

We often, as artists, think we don’t have much time to write or create. And yet, so much of art and creating is about noticing -- noticing the way the morning breeze hlps the curtains dance to the songbirds outside. Noticing a stranger’s wrinkled smile. Noticing a loved one’s broken heart. Art is what happens when we’re too busy to pay attention. This retreat will help discover a life worth writing about – every day.

Who should register? Writers. Wannabe writers. Artists. Creative souls. Anyone. You. Your friends. A beginner. Advanced writers. Painters.

Anyone can write just for one day!

June 25th – 10 a.m. to 2:30 p.m.
Cost: $45 Seating is limited! Sign up on the left-hand sidebar.

A reflection on five years

2011-04-28T05:54:00.002-04:00

Five years seems like a little bit of time to be a mother. Only five. Just five. And yet there is so much wisdom about people, humanity, growing up, raising kids, and life hidden between my ears now after just five years. Enough wisdom to guide me through most obstacles with ease.

It's impossible to give that wisdom -- just pass it like a bowl of mashed potatoes at the dinner table -- to another new mom. We can tell her that sleep deprivation sucks, which is does, but she won't understand what we mean until she is in month five and the baby wakes her up three times in one night again and she had really just started into a rhythm and now her whole day is off and that will set her whole week off. It's really hard to describe that feeling unless you've been there.

We can tell her that it gets harder when they aren't an infant but she won't believe us and why should she because all that crying -- all that crying! -- is such a difficult thing to get over. And yet they will say they hate you, and they will have a hard time with a friend at school that will break your heart, and they will be left out or left behind and your every muscle will tighten with the pain of it all.

But, lo and behold, our girls now sleep through the night. Just not every night. Because there are trips to the bathroom, bad dreams, lost bears, mixed up sheets, and the ever-so-scary illnesses.

And, they are over little squabbles in a matter of seconds not minutes unlike me, who has only realized recently that I have a really interesting relationship with ATTACHMENT. I'm practicing detachment, actually, and will write more about that later.

It's easy now, though. It's easy to tell my girls now that it's OK and move on. It's easy to comfort them now. They just need the comfort of a little help (gosh, don't we all?).

My big lesson right now at five years is not about motherhood at all. It's about peoplehood and how amazingly beautiful they are with all their flaws and ridiculousness. It's about lessons every day about how to manage being around certain ones (yes, even my children) and about taming the gremlins that some of them carry around with them like little monkeys each day.

I don't meditate every day but I do every week. I don't practice Zen every hour but I do practice it every day.

It's enough for me right now. It's all enough.

The Practice of Now

2011-04-26T10:29:00.008-04:00

In the midst of the darkness of being so alone caring for our twin infants, light came by way of a book: "Momma Zen: Walking the Crooked Path of Motherhood."

With no family around, my husband working long, long hours out of town and no mom friends, I was lost. It was a dark place. (I have videos to prove it wasn't as dark as I remember it, though.) In fact, I can look back and see now how justified my feelings were with so little support.

In fact, I wrote a lot about it in the blogosphere.

But, Karen Maezen Miller's book, which was given to me by one of my freelance editors, brought light to my soul with her simple ways of turning being a mother into a Zen practice. That practice continues today as I just let go to Trust. She is my friend, old Trust. She tells me to sit back with a bucket of popcorn and wait for the answers.

What makes Karen so good for mothers is that she often confesses to this being a difficult practice to do -- and she's a Zen Priest!

I often think, Okay, if Karen sometimes gets angry and she's a priest, than I can't be that terrible of a person. Walk away, decompress ... return later, calmed.

I've always been honest. Maybe too honest. The jury's still out on that one. I'm starting to claim my honesty as a source of beauty. Sometimes, my honesty is the only thing refreshing in the room, frankly.

And, part of that honesty has been saying that being a mother is the most difficult job of my life. It's hard work being a parent and if we're not trying to help mothers and fathers in the village, we'll continue to have troubles.

A lot of the reason parenting is difficult is because I make it so. I worry a lot. I am a control freak. I like things the way I like them. So ... in other words ... I have issues.

But, most of the time -- not all of the time -- I take Karen's wisdom mixed with my own version of Buddhism and Zen and Spirituality and Faith and I try not to screw things up by letting things like a big pile of the most fine, powdery silver glitter sprinkled all over the dining room floor bother me. I just really enjoy the Now a lot better when the rooms are clutter-free and the floors are clear of debris and that the air going into my lungs isn't filled with silvery glitter. That's just me, though.

I met Maezen online four years ago when I did a random search of her book and found that she had started a little blog! I was literally jumping up and down when I found that. I've watched that little blog turn into a household name for many of my smart, fantastic blog (and now Twitter) friends even as I've taken a big backseat role in the blogosphere. I still love it so!

And for four years, I've wanted to meet Maezen and give her the big hug that she deserves for helping this one mom -- and many, many more, I'm sure -- find comfort in the everyday of motherhood. I also want to thank her for these valuable lessons that are getting me through difficult times in my career as well. In fact, I'm a better person over all because of this Zen message she spreads.

I'm happy to report that this Saturday, I will finally get to meet her in Washington, D.C. and give her the thanks she deserves for being the other honest woman in the room. I'll have all copies of my books and I'll be ready to listen to her lesson in person. Because I need it now just as ever.

And I have a feeling I always will ...

The Sit-and-Do-Nothing Rule

2011-01-18T15:02:00.007-05:00

This post is inspired by a comment left on my last blog post about how to truly savor downtime and not feel guilty about it:

"Thanks for this! I found it from Tara Gentile's tweet, and I like it. My question is, how do you feel about your downtime? I've had an issue lately where everytime I have a little downtime, I end up feeling guilty for not doing something productive during that time--and yet, I'm still always yearning for that time to myself! It's such a destructive process. It would help if I had accomplished all the to do's before I have my downtime by scheduling all tasks like you suggested."

It is so. very. hard.

And, at times, I still suffer from that guilty vibe as well.

But, mostly, I have been able to really sit-and-do-nothing for a few minutes a day -- which hoenstly, in my world, is usually writing a list, doodling, writing, reading an inspiring book or meditating.

Nothing.

I see you twiddling your thumbs right now. I see the sweat from anxiety forming on your upper lip. I see your leg starting to twitch.

I learned the sit-and-do-nothing technique with little kids. The well-intended advice is always "nap when they nap" ... but I always felt there was too much to do, or at worst, I couldn't actually sleep.

So I implemented -- on the rare occassion -- the sit-and-do-nothing task. Close your eyes. Think about nothing but the sounds in the room. Breathe. Let your mind wander. Wander some more. Wonder.

This is a tool I use more frequently now when I am overwhelmed with too much to do or too many things I want to do.

Let's say I have a half hour and I have an hour's worth of work to do -- in other words, a typical half hour of my life. In fact, I often feel like a squirrel in the middle of the road -- you know when they can't decide what side of the road to run to -- the one they were aiming for or the one they just left? So, I instituted the sit-and do-nothing rule. Sit and do nothing not even watch TV, not even surf the Internets, not even talk to a person. Sit and do nothing and, like magic fairy dust falling on your shoulders, the answer: it always comes.

Usually, the answer is to make dinner and never even get to the rest of the list ... but I digress.

Sit and do nothing. That's it. It really is that simple.

Man, the best ideas come to me in those moments.

And I'm a much more relaxed crazy person after a sit-and-do-nothing. Still crazy. Still nutso. Still trying to do more than I can do in a single bound. But a little tiny bit saner.

Peace to you and your sit-and-do-nothing state.

Time is abundant

2011-01-13T17:02:00.002-05:00

There's this idea among human beings that I used to employ myself.

If only I had more time, I could do ... X Y Z.

More time and I could write my novel. More time and I could edit my short story. More time and I could find that unique job I've always wanted.

I've been waiting around for more time all my life.

Last year, when I finally finished my novel after 10 years, I learned the most valuable lesson in my life. Time is abundant. Even for busy working moms like myself. We can do this. We can make dreams a reality.

Sometimes it means saying no and I've had to do that in some heartbreakingly hard ways this week, too. Sometimes, it means saying yes.

This year, in nothing short of good New Year's Resolution-style, I made a commitment to something, well, someone.

Myself.

I vowed to fit things in that I've just never had the time for in the past. Writing is one. Exercise is another. Downtime is the last.

How though? How can I, in a single day or week, work 40-Plus hours, be a great mother of twin girls, remain as a volunteer in my community and still be a writer and a wife and someone who cares and takes care of her body? How is that humanely possible?

Until two weeks ago, I lived under this immense assumption that it wasn't possible and, lo and behold, it didn't have to be possible. By even considering doing all of these things in a single day, I was crazy. I held my own expectations up in the clouds.

And then I had a wee bit of an epiphany. What if? What if I can do it? What if I can be all of these things in a single week?

I thought it over and journaled about it and experimented with some ideas. And then it occurred to me. I didn't have to do it all each day. I just needed a schedule.

I set out to fit it all in Monday through Friday. I work out/do yoga three mornings at 5 a.m. and I write/edit two mornings. I also add a little writing and editing in at night after the girls are asleep and that's also when I get some much-needed downtime to do nothing. And, my reward for doing all of this during the work week? I get to do whatever I want on Saturdays and Sundays. The result is much less stress. No more wondering when it will happen. No more wondering how it will happen. No more trying to squeeze it in during valuable weekend family time (unless I want to).

I'm not sure why this never came to me before or why I made fitting it all in so complicated.

But now that I'm so regimented, I truly believe that time is abundant. But I have to get up and say yes, yes this is going to happen today. Or it doesn't happen.

2011: A Year of Re-Reading

2011-01-01T21:02:00.006-05:00

I covet books like people. Books have been and may always be my trophy lover. I display the best, the brightest, the ones that profoundly and amusingly changed me proudly on bookshelves. I dust them. And rearrange them. And breeze through their pages now and again with awe and admiration.

But I never re-read them.

Ever.

Until now. This year, I have decided is my year. A year to re-read. A year to go back to the basics and seriously consider these books that have led me on a passion for writing novels. I want to study these favorites in a way only I can now: As someone who has written a novel.

We have all said it and heard a million times -- to be a writer, you must first read. A lot. Well, I have read a lot. But that doesn't mean that I'm always retaining some of the reasons why these books are so great.

Let me be clear. I am not reading the BBC lists or the NBC lists or even the Nobel lists.

I am reading my list. These books that I am re-reading have stayed with me since Page One. Some have moved across state lines and into and out of up to a half dozen or more places I've called home. One has been with me since middle school.

These are not just any books. These are 12 books that led me to write my own. These are the ones that inspired me along the years in my own relationships. They are the books that light me up.

I've decided to do this in four parts. Each week, I will write about a different aspect of these books from a writer's standpoint (setting, narration, character arc and plot).

I'm pretty excited to take on this project. And while it's not 365 books or even 52 books -- and while this is not an exhaustive list of books that I have loved or been awed by -- I am sure that I will learn a lot about writing and reading on this journey. I plan to share a lot with my readers as well!

I am not sure why I never re-read books. Perhaps because the idea of knowing the ending makes it hard to keep my interest. That's why this will be a fun project. I'm reading just for the wisdom I can glean as a writer, as a novelist, as someone who hopes to have one of those shiny, beautiful trophies of her own.

PHOTO CREDIT: RACHELLOVESTOLAUGH

A trusty list for parents

2010-12-27T06:44:00.008-05:00

I've been off track, again ... lost because of lack of time because being a mom has me spinning in confusion and chaos. I'm lost because of trying to be something I am not. I can't hide any of these roles that I play every single day.

It's hard having a writer's heart ... and being a parent. Shit, it's hard being a parent.

I'm reading a great book right now (more on that in another post) that I bought with a Christmas gift certificate from my amazing husband. I needed something real. I needed something honest. I needed something inspirational that only a really good book can provide.

Amazingly, I found just the right book in a short trip into the store. Thus, writing here again.

After just one little chapter of reading the new book, I was in the kitchen, making quiche and listening to Emmy Lou Harris, when I had a parenting epiphany to write a soothing message for myself. And when I was finished, I wondered if I should share it with others.

For those with amazing kids. For those with kids who are not so amazing now and then. For those who write with kids. For those who care for kids. For those who are the most patient -- and the not so patient. For those who now and then want to lose their shizz because their kids are, well, testing them in various ways like kicking and smacking their siblings.

And, this little list of mine was also inspired by this other little list of trust by Momma Zen who became a good friend years ago around the time she wrote her list. I write my list for all the parents traveling this road behind me and in honor of all those who have gone before me. Only we, the parents, know what is best. And yet we know nothing at all. We just have to learn to trust.

A Trusty list for Parents

Trust that they know when they are not hungry.
Trust when they are.
Trust that they will eat just fine some day.
Trust that they might not.
Trust that they will sleep when tired.
Trust that they will rise when they are done sleeping.
Trust when they have had a bad dream.
Trust when the blankets aren’t just so.
Trust that they truly cannot go back to sleep.
Trust that they’ve had enough.
Trust when they haven’t.
Trust when their harsh words mean something more.
Trust when their harsh words are just words.
Trust that they love when they hate.
Trust that they hate when they love.
Trust the process for making up.
Trust that they will make up.
Trust that they can work it out on their own.
Trust them.
Trust their hearts.
Trust their heads.
Trust their nice hands.
Trust their mean words.
Trust their friendship.
Trust their bonds to you.
Trust that they do get it.
Trust that they understand.
Trust that they do not understand.
Trust that this too shall pass.
Trust that this too shall escalate to something else.
Trust that there will always be another phase.
Trust when they say no.
Trust when they say uh-uh.
Trust when they giggle.
Trust when they say they can do it.
Trust when they say they need help.
Trust when yes means no.
Trust when no means yes.
Trust when they say they love you.
Trust when they say they hate you.
Trust when they say nothing at all.
Trust when their faces say everything.
Trust when their faces say nothing.
Trust when times get tough.
Trust that times will get tough.
Trust when times turn wonderful.
Trust that they will be wonderful.
Trust that love is enough.
Trust that love isn’t enough.
Trust your heart.
Trust your Yeses.

Trust your Nos.

Trust yourself.

Trust your kids.

Trust that there will be another day to get it right.

Photo credit: Valeria

December 1st means only one thing

2010-12-01T12:10:00.005-05:00

Advent.

Not just any advent calendar. An activity advent. This means that we don't just throw (more) candy into a box and count the day. No, we spend quality time together, usually laughing and doing awe-inspiring things, like wrapping each other up in green crepe paper and pretending we're Christmas trees. This year, we're adding a race to see who can wrap each other up fastest with toilet paper, black buttons and scarves to become snowladies and one snowman.

This year, the list is the best ever because I've done this for the third year and now know the best ones to do.

Granted, I realize that I am ridiculous about this and go way overboard but I look at it as a way to fill the entire month of December with spirit and joy and love. Also, I do two activites a day so that each girl (twins!) gets to pull a card out of the stocking. To see previous years, go here and here.

Here are some of the things we're doing:

1.Make list -- sing carols
2.Look for color red -- dance party
3.A joke -- city light up night
4. Decorate the doors -- visit santa
5. Movie night -- make cookies
6. Paint nails red and green -- make gift tags
7. Play with cookie cutters -- mail cards
8. Hang candy canes -- snowscapes with shaving cream
9. Find the color green -- camp under the tree
10. Drink hot chocolate -- read around the tree
11.Count the red lights -- christmas magic
12.Family tree activity -- make cards for teachers
13. Make homemade gifts -- be an elf for the night
14.Santa's helper/wrap a gift game -- create gift kits
15. Make choc. covered pretzels -- make seating cards
16. Pin the nose on rudolph game --write a Christmas story
17. Make ornaments/wrap gifts -- red and green snack
18. Snowman Race -- Light a candle in memory of dog Prince
19. Put on a christmas play -- eat dessert first
20. Create a winter alter -- jingle bell dance around the tree
21. Winter Solstice celebration -- star gaze
22. wear red and green -- eat breakfast for dinner
22.Jingle bells dance -- make sugar cone trees
23. Hand out gifts to teachers -- star watch
24. set out cookies and milk -- sprinkle magic reindeer food outside

The Creative Soul Rebirth

2010-10-22T21:23:00.002-04:00

My creative soul is in the middle of a rebirth, a coming-of-age that's long overdue, again. This happens every year this time, I realized recently.

My love for the crisp fall air is deep but I have been having haunting memories of how this time of the year deeply hurts, too. My relationships are almost always strained and I am not communicating wisely to stay on top of that trend. I feel hurt that people don't see me or get me.

Writing is such a powerful tool to be heard but it cannot help you be seen. Jen Lemen wrote some seriously awesome words about this and, like many of her posts, I can't stop thinking about the amazing vulnerability of being seen.

I've always worried about not being heard. I've always worried about not being taken seriously.

But it all comes back to not being seen. Really seen.

Authenticity has to be a combination of all of these things and truly not giving a shit about any of them. But I do still ... which is a wake-up call for me to wake up and start writing more and worrying less.

But this is a lesson I learn over and over in life. It comes and goes like the tide, washing the memories away inch by inch.

Life is not perfect yet and therefore we must keep drudging through the thick sands, creating our own legacies.

Special Guest Post: Magpie Girl

2010-10-03T07:35:00.004-04:00

It can be really hard to navigate friendships as a creative person. So many people walk through life just going through the motions, hardly noticing the flits and flutters of their own dreams. Sometimes I feel people look at me strangely when they understand that I have dreams beyond raising my daughters and working.

A year or so ago, I discovered Magpie Girl -- Rachelle Mee-Chapman -- who has helped me find my creative identity through various exercises.

But, it was early on when I read her e-book "SoulRetreats: How to host a tribe with art and soul" and was instantly inspired to to find my own tribe of like-minded, creative people. That has turned into a small but beautiful book club. I hope to someday turn the idea into a retreat, as her book suggests.

This is not the first online friendship to lead me to amazing creative exploration. I've had many online friends over the last three years.

Rachelle is doing 30 Stories in 30 days in honor of her birthday this month. She's here visiting today, on my blog, to answer this question I asked her about In Real Life vs. Online friendships:

Q: How do you balance between IRL and online friendships? Are they the same or different for you?

Because of my deep dependence on online friendships during my 3 years abroad, I tend to think of IRL and online friendships as being very similar. For a long time there was great debate in the blogosphere about community and friendsh

ip online. Was there really a “there” there? My answer, unequivocally, is “Yes.”

We cannot always have our soultribe at nearby IRL (in real life). We might live in a community that doesn’t “get” us. We might live in a country where we don’t speak the language. We might travel a lot. We might be ill and unable to make the dinner party rounds. Thankfully, online community can help bridge the gap. With the advent of blogging, social networking sites like Facebook, and specific-topic communities managed by programs like Ning, there are lots of options for online connection.

When I moved abroad to Denmark the online community was a HUGE source of support, resource and camaraderie. Without the “there” that was there, I would have been completely isolated. As I left my IRL life friends on the other side of a 9hour time difference, the internet friends became my comfort and my colleagues. As my online friend Melanie Martin puts it, Twitter is “my tearoom” – a place to take a break from writing and have a chat over a cuppa. Facebook, IM chats, and Skype video talks kept me connected on work projects, and people I knew only over the internet like Leonie Allen and Susannah Conway became my coaches and colleagues. And over the years, both before and since Copenhagen, blog crushes and online pals have become friends, work partners and soulsisters IRL as well. Jen Lemen, Jennifer McGuiggian, Jolie Guillebeau, Becky Knight, Bethany Basset, J.Renee Pekol, and Jessica Schafer are all online acquaintances who have I have personally hugged. (Bethany and I even had our first IRL TweetUp on an overnight girl’s weekend to Rome!)

On the other hand, there’s something special that happens when you can meet someone face to face. I was recently able to meet up with photographer Darrah Parker, someone I previously knew only on line. In 90 minutes over coffee we were able to brainstorm and problem-solve more work related stuff than we could have in dozens of Tweets. And by meeting each IRL we got a more nuanced understanding of each other’s work and way of communicating.

Now that I’m back on home turf in Seattle, I have less time to run the social networking gauntlet online. But I still try to stay connected with online and IRL friends based on the same general rule of thumb. IRL I would spend time with people who

Make an effort to keep in touch.
Have interests that are similar to mine or which intrigue me.
Who make me laugh; and who can have a meaningful conversation.

The same is true with my online connections.

I do have one warning sign that I am spending too much time online in general – when I started doing that vague clicking around thing, triple checking for new email/Facebook updates/tweets, and generally trying to find the miracle answer to what’s bugging me online. Do you know what I mean? When I start thinking the answer to life could be found if I could just find the right thing to click on, it’s time to log off!

What about you? How do you related to

your online and IRL connections? What are your warning signs for you that you are going off-balance with how you spend your time between the two? Is there a real “there” there for you in online communities? We’d love to hear your thoughts because “there ain’t know where to go but together.”

Rachelle Mee-Chapman, specializes in customized soulcare for spiritual misfits. She works with clients at Magpie Girl to help them find a spirituality that fits; and hosts Flock, an online soulcare community. You can learn more about her creative approach in her free ecourse, Magpie Speak: a new vocabulary for soulcare.

Friend :: Follow :: Presents!

How to be a writer

2010-10-01T21:00:00.005-04:00

We've been starting our weekends lately playing outside, often at a local park, sometimes with a picnic dinner. Even as the weather gets colder -- especially as it gets colder -- we find being out there, as a family, is a booster to our time together.

Tonight, at the start of October, the reality of what we're facing set in. The sun set at just 7:15 p.m. Darkness took over and many families like ours, shuffled quickly into cars and headed home.

Summer is gone. Long gone now. Soon, those of us with cold, snowy winters will be hibernating in the midst of winter's grips, wishing for the warm weather but relishing the holidays and building snow creatures.

And yet tonight was so peaceful, so full of hope. The pink sky illuminated every tree branch, every blade of grass, every building and I found myself peering into windows of homes lived in by people we do not know.

There are so many people we will never meet. I wondered, briefly, who I am yet to meet.

I had this same thought tonight about writers and books. There are so many writers whose words I will never read. Writers who shed tears, probably, over the fact that they didn't have enough time, enough skill, enough ideas to be a writer. And yet they did it. They had the willpower, the gumption to write their own story to become an author and sell books.

Is it that simple? Just forging forward with nothing but finishing in mind? I hope so.

My fearless writing class starts next week! Time to start prepping and planning for how it will flow -- and, how, I will be turning it into an online adventure. Super exciting.

Please stay tuned for a great guest post on Sunday.

Photo credit: Big thanks to JKonig

Ready. Set. Go!

2010-09-26T20:15:00.003-04:00

While I'm nursing a sore throat and an overall sense of yuckiness this Sunday night, I'm also doing lots of planning and plotting for the Fearless Writing class that starts in a little less than two weeks.

It's such good timing as I am slowly rising up from this terrible, awful, no good funk and learning a lot about courage. Courage to know when toxic habits aren't fruitful. Courage to know when enough is enough. Courage to know who to let in, and who to let go.

Mostly, courage to just wait out this storm and ride the waves, knowing that this, too, shall pass. Courage to set writing aside. Real writing, anyway. I've filled up journals upon journals lately so the hand is still working. The words do still flow. But what I've had to say hasn't been worth sharing.

Courage takes shape in many ways. Some days, courage is just putting all of our dreams aside to take care of children, to just be with them. Or to take care of good friends. Or to add just one more -- oh it can't be so -- thing to our day to just show someone that we care.

I'm ready to see some creative progress this week. I printed out all 300+ pages of my manuscript last week. I'm back to blogging this week. I hope to settle down each night with at least one creative goal in mind -- to write again. Real writing. The stuff that comes from my bones and stretches me to every edge.

So long as this sore throat goes away ...

Big huge thanks to Chrisc25 for the photo!

Book Review: Four Word Self Help by Patti Digh

2010-09-16T06:28:00.005-04:00

I've never been someone who needed self-help books. That's probably because I've always written through my problems in journals. I've kept nearly every single journal, too, to prove that.

And yet recently I've found comfort in self help books by Patti Digh. Her first book, Life is a Verb, is the result of our choice in my creative soul's book club, a group I formed this past spring. We all loved that book. It was so beautiful and full of wonderful stories.

I had actually forgotten that I signed up to receive a review copy of her next book, Four Word Self Help: Simple Wisdom for Complex Lives.

It arrived on a very low day for me, a day when I felt my world collapsing all around me. My values and honor system had been greatly compromised. And, to make matters worse, I had few people to talk to about any of it.

I opened the box, and then book to find the sweetest, most lovely book I've ever laid my eyes on. It's full of wonderful quotes and original art, just like Life is a Verb, and yet it's so full of simple, short pieces of advice that I was able to read it in just one day. I finished it at bedtime, with a smile on my face. I've read it twice since.

I have plans to buy it for a young woman I am mentoring and for a few people for Christmas. It's that lovely.

My favorite pieces of advice in it (there are many):

Eat less, Move more (always a needed reminder for me)

Give up Toxic people

Mean what you say

Embrace Solitude, not loneliness

Stop trying so hard

Let other people drive

Do Less, Be More

The stories are full of deep, big-picture thoughts all in Patti style. I admit, Patti is truly one of my modern day heroes both for her strong, authentic writing voice and style as well as her fierce advocacy on social justice issues.

I highly recommend both of her books, but especially Self Help as it's a neat little book that you can pull out of your purse or bookbag or briefcase in a moment's notice and just sink into and feel happy -- like when you're world is collapsing, or you just woke up on the wrong side of the bed.

Sometimes you just can't write

2010-09-06T07:29:00.005-04:00

This was not the post I was going to write. It wasn't the one planned, and sitting unwritten in my head.

But, sometimes, you just can't write. It's not that you don't want to or even that you don't have time. It's that other things, more pressing things, need to rise to the surface and be released before you can return to the page.

This has been the case for me for the last week and a half. It's been utter nonsense, truly, but enough to raise all of my little emotional sensors that says enough is enough. You are enough. You don't have to add one more thing to the mix.

But, just because I know I can't write anything *great* right now, doesn't mean I shouldn't be working -- working on things with less emotional weight, working on stringing words together in any shape.

Like lists. Oh, mercy, I love a good list. Just last night, in a fit of "I have to write something!" I wrote a wonderful Autumn to-do list. I sat under a comfy blanket next to a breezy window and used a brown marker from my little girls' stash and started. The list started off small but soon a wild amount of potential -- and creativity -- bled through that list, all of which left me feeling so excited.

Character Sheets. I also started character sheets for my finished manuscript to use while editing. As I go through the book, I see so many inconsistencies on the minor details of my characters .... these sheets will help me nail it all down so that I can truly get through that thing ASAP.

Poetry. Formerly written poetry. Knowing I had to do something, I started gathering ALL of my many journals and notebooks and scouring them for bits of gold and transferring that gold into a new, more final notebook to keep track of the good stuff. By doing this, I actually improved a few pieces drastically and realized I know a bit more about poetry than I like to admit to. Poetry is theraputic to write during a writing stop (this is not a creative block, by the way. But that's another post).

Do something with your hands. I like to do mixed media collages when I'm frustrated. It works in harmony with my desire to use words but also create without rules. Since I am not a fine artist, I never feel like my paintings/collage need to be very good. Now and then, they aren't terrible.

Play. Play. Play. Enough said on that.

Finally, Read. Reading can take the place of writing solely by being the reading detective. Now, I admit, I wasn't a reading detective until I actually finished my first book. Now, I totally get it and it's rather freaking addictive. And, the result is that I often now cannot go to sleep from reading because I'm so hooked on uncovering it's little nuggets of writing. Still, it's a true must for any writer. Read everything you can get your hands on, in preparation.

How about you? When you CAN'T write, what is it that you CAN do instead? When life is truly too busy, too chaotic, too problem-filled, how do you get your writing on? How do you stay in the game of creativity?

The best line ever

2010-08-29T20:21:00.003-04:00

"Make your own damn dinner because I'm making my own damn art."

Marion Lawrence

I go to church with Marion and she's a talented woman who understands that art comes first before everything else. I loved this title of her sermon today and wanted to share it with you.

Seasonal Shifts in Clarity and Writing

2010-08-24T19:21:00.003-04:00

There's something about the smell of fall that triggers good, let's-start-over feelings internally for me. Its back-to-school, new year, new phase, new everything feeling actually feeds my New Year mentality more than the actual New Year.

I know I am not alone in this. So many people -- women, mostly -- have been saying the same thing to me.

I love the crunch, crunch, crunch of walking on baby acorns, gathering them up in my hands and understanding what they mean to this earth, this cycle of seasons.

I often wonder what it's like to live in a place where there are no seasons. My Creative Soul is at the mercy of the seasons like my body is to water. When spring and summer fall upon my part of the world, I am at peace and create like a mad woman. Deep in the belly of winter and summer, I am scattered and lost and hardly productive at all.

At least I finally understand this about my own rhythms and ebbs and flows and can embrace it, as frustrating at it is at the time.

Still, fall brings with it so many other struggles such as loss of daylight and my inability to get myself out of bed early without a mean alarm clock. And yet that is exactly what I need to do to get things done.

My friend Stacey, with her own blog, recently commented on developing a fall schedule. This is exactly what I have done for the last few years, not just for fall but for every season. I write lists upon lists of what my ideal schedule should look like -- when I'll exercise, when I'll write, when I'll enjoy the crisp, fall breeze. I will also write lists upon lists of seasonal gifts to enjoy such as picking apples and pumpkins, going for hayrides, hiking and walking through corn mazes, into the deep woods and, of course, cooking my seasonal favorites. I will spent most of my time outside, drinking wine and coffee and apple cider. And writing.

Oh goodness, the writing. This season's writing can make my mind spin with excitement. I hope it doesn't disappoint. That is, if I can just hunker down and carve out the time much like carving out the features of a poet in a pumpkin.

How about you? How will you fall into creativity as the season's change? Does cooler weather bring more clarity to your pursuits or not? I'm curious to know.

Monday Muse: Being Fearless

2010-08-22T21:13:00.004-04:00

Some time ago, I set out on a mission to try to help others like myself start putting the Creative Life ahead of everything else. Perhaps creativity is my spirituality these days. Writing and painting are my Dharma. Creative to-do lists are my textbooks.

My husband, a writer himself, and I sat under the moon recently -- me with my feet dangling poolside and he on a lounge chair -- chatting. What would I want from a creative writing class? The moon pulled at me that night and our conversation led to Fearless Writing.

It spoke to me not just because of writing, but because I just don't want to be afraid of anything anymore.

I don't want to be afraid to think the things I do, or fear what I haven't yet done. I don't want to be afraid to put my writing out into the Universe and I most definitely do not want to be afraid to write what I feel.

The whole culture of fear is tiresome and a burden far heavier than I wish to bear.

Fearless Writing is a class I've dreamed up that mixes everything I've learned about being a writer and a creative soul into one small, seven-week course.

I'm happy that seven lovelies have already signed up to take the class so far and we still have another month and a half before it starts. By class end, I hope I've inspired a person or two to be less afraid in their daily life and to start taking a few more risks -- especially in writing, but not just in writing. Why? Because so much of writing is about experiencing life to its fullest. But if we are too afraid to take that next step, how in the world are we going to finish that first draft, paint that first painting or craft that first poem?

My hope is that once I get through this first class, in real life, I will have enough ideas on how to turn it into a wonderful yet AFFORDABLE online class.

What about you? What does being fearless mean to you? What are you afraid of or what do you no longer want to fear?

Scattered thoughts

2010-08-19T20:36:00.004-04:00

This, that and another thing -- actually, many things -- have left me with so very little time to do do any writing. I'm finding ways to be creative here and there (a non-fiction piece or two, a poem here and there, and some painting, actually), but not in any organized fashion and certainly without a purpose.

Just when I think I've got a handle on my schedule and routine, the time changes, the daylight fades and small things here and there crop up into my life, impossible to ignore or say no to.

I'm a big fan of the No, thank you, but lately I've been saying Yes more. Thanks to Patti Digh's "Life is a Verb" for that. The minute I cracked open her book, it seeped goodness and all those ideas of living life to its fullest oozed into the crevices of my mind that I had been able to keep occupied and focused for so long while writing my book and starting my side business.

I will not lie, though, there's not enough time for it all -- the living life to the fullest, the working so hard all day, the taking care of the girls and still wanting to be with the girls as well as all the other millions of little things and big that call my attention all day, every day.

I'm sure it's a phase but right now, at this very minute, I'm ready to throw my hands up in the air and say I give up, I can't handle it all!

But, I know that I'm just really tired and that a good night's sleep is probably all that I need. And yet I know I will be tired again tomorrow and the day after that ... and yet.

This isn't advice by any means. It's a confession that I started dropping some balls about a month ago and I've had a really hard time picking up the mess and now I am running around, this way and that, trying to find that oh so lovely groove that held me tightly long enough to finish my novel.

Yeah, that's it. I am really missing my groove. I miss that clarity that I had to fleetingly.

Then again, perhaps it's my purpose now to develop a new groove -- an editing and revision groove, a let's-try-new-things groove or a just-dive-in-and-forget-it-all groove. I'm open to that as I brush at the weeds in front of my face and clear the clutter.

Luckily, I've been through this so many times before that I know -- well, really hope -- that the groove will, indeed, return and when it does, I must be ready for it. I must be ready to shut out out the world and start making writing my life again.

Thanks for reading my mutterings.

P.S. That's one of my girls in a local painter's studio and the picture is just so fitting for how I feel right now. Half of me is a woman trying to be an artist; the other half is a woman trying to be a great mother.

No More Mondays

2010-08-16T05:57:00.002-04:00

There was a time when weekends were weekends and weekdays were weekdays and all I did was wish for the freedom of Saturdays and Sundays.

I woke up. My faith and spirituality has led me to this more than anything. Every moment is precious and every moment can slip away if we aren't careful.

When we work full-time it can be easy to compartmentalize the good from the bad, the creative and the not-so-creative times and the me time vs. the man's time.

As soon as I awoke to the idea of No More Mondays and that creative time, fun time and me time all has to co-exist much like all of humanity should, I became a creative being. My creative soul was born as soon as I understood that now is the time.

It is not enough to wait for the perfect time to create anything -- let alone the life you want most. If I did this, I would never have finished my manuscript. If I did this, I would never have time for doing creative family projects like setting up a carnival in our basement. I live for these moments and I do not have time to wait for a Saturday and Sunday to do them.

Being creative must come from the heart from the minute we wake up in the morning and not end until we shut our eyes at night. If we all did this, imagine how our businesses would thrive, our kids would flourish in and out of school and families would be much happier as they live out their dreams and have fun instead of just walking dead on this earth.

Mondays and every other day of the week are not just for working or volunteering on a bunch of committees but for getting up early, when the birds just start singing, and listening to your heart about what your imagination and your heart is calling for you to do today. Every day provides a new possibility, a new joy to live out and a new passion to seek.

What will you seek out today? What creative pursuit is calling your heart today? What will make you get up early or stay up late just to make sure you never have another Monday?

Let the thoughts pour out of you

2010-08-10T20:42:00.006-04:00

Just how much crap can one person -- someone who built a career on writing -- write?

I wonder this sometimes. I write a lot of bad stuff. That's when I'm actually writing, too.

In college, I read and reviewed a book on writing and time management. I was working to put myself through college, and of course, partying, a lot. What a laugh that I didn't have enough time to write. I had nothing but time to write. I wrote a lot of crap and criticized myself a great deal. I wrote a few standout pieces, one of which was so good the same idea became a bestselling novel and a movie. Only wish I had tried to publish my piece. I was lazy and lost and full of self-doubt.

Now, with kids, I'm busier than ever and yet I have more time to write than ever. That's because I understand what time means to me. I know exactly what can happen in 17 minutes.

It's not that I have more time, it's that I know how to use precious few minutes to my advantage. Some days -- few, actually -- pass without a word written on paper or on the computer. Sometimes they are written standing in line, waiting at the doctor's office and often at the playground, watching my girls run and play.

But rarely do I ever not write something, anything.

The key, I believe, is in the mornings.

I've read "The Artist's Way," by Julia Cameron a few times here and there and I've started morning pages and stopped for various reasons -- mainly sleep and children.

But, recently, I've been writing My Three Pages consistently. And I reap volumes of benefits from those few minutes in the morning. I follow the rule of writing three full pages. I dump all the crap out of my life in the first page, focus my attention and daily intentions on the second page and then get creative on the third page. This system has worked wonders for me.

Page Three is consistently phenomenal. Something always pops up on Page Three that surprises me or makes me smile and want to jump up and down. I've had many ah-ha moments on page three.

The trick is not being worried about how you write or what you write but that you just write. The emphasis has to be on purging the junk -- the gremlins -- out onto the page so you can move on to bigger and better creative projects. When something is really bothering me and blocking me, I write through it on all three pages.

For mothers like me, this may seem nearly impossible. I assure you it is not. My kids wake up early and usually find me with my turquoise coffee cup steaming full on the counter with my head in my journal, scribbling fast and furious. That's when they grab their own journals and writing materials and sit down next to me and start doing their writing. Some of it is unrecognizable. Sometimes they only draw. All of it is pure delight to me, to see them learning about taking that precious time in the morning to gather thoughts and be creative before everything else. I love watching them give birth to their own creative souls.

Liana inspires me with how she will write this in about 30 seconds: a d L i i i h T B o I H H H. Silly you, it means we are going to the carnival today. (we're not really)

Writing needs to feel like going to a carnival. It should feel like spinning long and hard and getting so dizzy you just want to collapse onto the cool grass and watch the earth fall drunk before your eyes.

And if you let yourself write long enough that's exactly what it can feel like.

Pure bliss.

Now, go do your morning pages and tell me about your Page Three.

Monday Muse: Creating Intentions

2010-08-08T19:59:00.003-04:00

We are all so busy.

Sometimes it makes me laugh to hear someone say how busy they are. It's just not something I like to complain about. I love being busy. I'm busy from the second I'm woken up -- yes, every day like clockwork -- until the minute I close my book to go to sleep at night. I have to work rest into my schedule like exercise and meal planning.

I do so much in a day that I often have to write down what I did accomplish so that I remember some of it. I call them Ta-Da Lists. More on that in another post.

What I have found to be an anchor for my creative life is to set intentions. I set various intentions throughout a week. Each moment can be different though they are often very similar.

It's very easy to set intentions for what you want to create, accomplish or even how you want to emotionally feel during the week. It sounds a bit hokey at first but trust me this is the best piece of advice you might ever get.

I often set my intentions in writing as part of my morning pages. But, they can easily be done over a candle during meditation or prayer, during a walk, while showering or even while pouring cereal. So long as you take a few minutes to consider what needs your attention at that moment and claim it!

Monday Morning Intentions: These are the intentions for the week. Perhaps last week you were, say, really, really grouchy and people were not at all impressing you. Just hypothetically. well, this week your intentions could focus your energies on putting that behind you and just being at peace. I am a Part-time Buddhist so I say these kinds of loving-kindness phrases to msyelf every Monday, but usually every morning as well.

May I be at peace
May I be loving
May I be balanced
May I have lots of creative energy.
May I take care of my body.

These intentions are important because what you say will most likely be how your week plays out. So watch out what you wish for.

Daily intentions: These, to me, are very different than affirmations. I like to wake each day and focus on one area that I can excel or accomplish. Perhaps it's to revise one chapter of my novel. Perhaps it's to just play with my kids. Sometimes, it's just stay quiet all day. Actually, that's often my intention. This is also when I plan my best activities for the girls to learn and play, which helps us all be a little more creative each day. Some daily intentions I use often are BE QUIET, LISTEN MORE, WRITE, PLAY WITH GIRLS, MEDITATE and BE LOVING.

Weekend Intentions: This is a BIG one for me. We used to have weekends that were so mishap and chaotic, and for good reasons being twins and all. But, truthfully, a lot of it was that I never knew what I wanted in a weekend. And, as a mother, it's really important to know what I want and what will make me feel good so that I can be both a creative being, a writer and a happy person. I set weekend intentions on Fridays and then the night before I really think about what Saturday and what Sunday need to be for this to be a WONDERFUL weekend. By setting the intentions early enough, it allows for mishaps and chaos so those states do not rule the weekend. Some weekend intentions are REST, BE IN NATURE, SOLITUDE, BE SOCIAL, GET ORGANIZED, ROMANCE, GET OUT OF TOWN, HAVE FUN.

There's lots of other times to use intentions -- such as before meetings, outings with friends, going shopping, etc. But these are the ones that use all the time and I find them helpful to being able to accomplish creative endeavors.

So, what is your weekly intention right now? What needs every ounce of your attention this week in order for you to be a Happy person or a Happy Writer?

My intention for this week: STAY QUIET. I need to spend some undivided attention writing some real stuff this week. For realz. I also need to take a break from some aspects of social media this week. Mostly The Twitter but not just that. I want to leave my CRACKBERRY alone more.

Namaste.

Share your intentions for today or this week in the comments. Please do not be shy. We only learn from each other here.

Live * Laugh * Write Fridays: Quiet edition

2010-08-06T03:21:00.002-04:00

Be happy in the moment, that's enough. Each moment is all we need, not more. -Mother Teresa

Here's what I've been trying to read this week despite all the other stuff that has been keeping me from it.

Live

Seriously considering/needing this. Love that she goes into more than just Unplugging but how to do it with quality, not just quantity.

This, too, would be helpful for me at this scattered stage of being.

It won't rain outside, so I've brought it inside. I love summer evening rains.

Laugh

I love this idea to do with the girls.

I could watch this a million times and the smile on my face would never fade.

Write

I'm obsessing over stretching myself as a writer. My writing career was in print non-fiction. I've written my book. I'm now editing that novel. Now, I have a hankering to do something different. Different, like this. I've actually written these before but not for years though many blog posts certainly could have counted. I have selfish reasons for wanting to perfect this genre, though.

Of course, the best way to write is to write. Duh.

The building blocks to authenticity

2010-08-04T03:07:00.001-04:00

My last post spoke directly to the many boxes that I carry for baggage. They make up everything that I am. I do find it hard to manage them all, depending on the situation.

But I own them. They are mine.

Authenticity is not something I struggle with.

Every little detail in my life relates to another. I hear myself saying often these days that I respect people who walk the walk. That's because I appreciate those people more than anyone. Those who do not just talk about believing something, but who also do something to show it.

We believe in our city, so we moved there. It didn't feel right after seven years so we moved out but we still believe in it and so we spend at least one day or evening there on the weekends and I work there 45 hours a week. It's where our girls attend preschool. It's where I buy gifts and produce.

We believe in anti-racism so we attend ant-racism events such as unity marches and picnics -- and many other things as well.

We believe in gay rights and religious diversity and standing up for ALL people so we attend a church that welcomes everyone no matter who they are or what they believe or who they love.

We believe in building a creative class, so we inspire our kids to get involved in art as much as possible. We also believe in protecting the earth by buying less of everything, wasting less and buying locally.

How does any of this relate to being creative or writing? These values all add up to equal my authenticity. And while it comes by us easily, I realize it's a lot harder for others. When all of these boxes -- my personal building blocks -- are in alignment and at the forefront of my existence, they help me write with authority and honesty. They give me fodder, yes, but they also give me peace of mind and, best of all, a little hope.

Life's many boxes

2010-08-02T02:47:00.003-04:00

I dream ... of being a writer. No, not just a writer. A published novelist. Stories grow like vines along my mind and writing is the only way I know how to release them.

Ever since I quit journalism to be more involved in my community, I have been cautious to call myself a writer. Only when I was actually getting paid to write, did I ever feel like I could call myself a writer.

Perhaps I am not alone when I say that my life is made up of various boxes. I'm not sure if they are boxes I've established or if they were established for me by society.

There's the box that is the mother and all things motherhood. There's the box who is a writer and creative type. There's the box that holds wife/household CEO. There's also the friendship box. The real job work box. The politics box. The social justice interests/volunteer box.

So many boxes. I often feel like I'm flitting about from one box to another, never allowing any of the boxes to touch or stack together like a solid structure or mass. But perhaps it's about brevity. Who really wants to sit through an introduction like: I'm a liberal, anti-racist mother who works for the House of Representatives who aspires to write novels, solve world problems and create art all day.

Instead, the boxes are laid out on a map and I happily -- or not so happily -- travel on paths, some smooth, some rocky, from one area to the other like a good little child who doesn't misbehave.

At work, I am not a writer. When marketing my writing, I hide that side of me who is a government worker, afraid of allowing one life to clash with the other. When I'm with friends, I am not always the mother. Or, I'm the mother, not wanting to be the mother and just wanting to be just a woman.

More often than not, I'm a woman who wants to be creative but cannot because of so many other boxes that don't allow for that.

I woke up to this reality a few months ago and decided that being a writer is who I am and that will never change no matter what I'm doing. I set out with fierce intentions to be known as that and nothing more. It will take time to change that image of the many persons I have been known as. It started with my Twitter account but I'm changing it in my social circles as well. Simply by saying, I have a dream to friends is enough to let the dream soar through the air.

I have also found that releasing my dreams has helped other friends release theirs. Then, they no longer are just another mother or another co-worker but women who dream of being something more.

I used to think that to be happy, I needed to be just one thing. Now, I just think that all of these boxes -- scattered and crazy -- are exactly who I am meant to be.

Authenticity, I now believe, is not being afraid to carry these boxes, even if one at a time, and be willing to open them when the time is ripe -- and close the others when you know they need closed.

Now that you know my dream. What is yours? Start yelling it across the rooftops right here, right now.

(I also dream of learning to cook authentic Indian food.)

Personal vs. Community

2010-07-28T08:58:00.002-04:00

It's no secret that so much of writing is holing up in a vacant space and zeroing in on a computer screen or a notebook and shutting the world out.

We have to shut you out, you see. It's the only way the work can get done.

And yet. And yet I have always had this inner calling to be a fixer in my community. That's a large part of why it took me 10 years to write my first novel.

I take on too many causes. Join too many committees. Tackle too many problems. Problems that, ultimately, are not solvable by just me and perhaps not even in my lifetime, such as racism.

I'm a die-hard anti-racist. I run themes of this in my novel and I plan to write my second book just on this topic. It is more than a passion. It's a lifestyle. Diversity and acceptance are our family values.

So when does a writer know when enough is enough? How do we walk that very fine line of shutting out the world and yet being a part of that bigger picture of making it better?

I do not have the answers.

I know for myself that by establishing very firm values, it's easier to pick and choose which committees (between work and personal volunteer time I sit on 15 committees plus two board of directors).

Sometimes, it takes being militant about your schedule. No, I can't go out tonight. No, I can't talk tonight. No, I won't clean tonight. (my favorite!)

It's not that writers aren't interested in their community or economic development or community, it's that their jobs can't be done with people yelling in their ear with complaints.

Which is why I choose to stay on a committee as long as the vibe is positive and gets things done as opposed to sitting around complaining and not doing anything. Being there takes up energy in my mind and that means it's taking time away from my personal goals, my family and my home.

No, writing is not a social act by any means. But, by being active socially in the community and looking at the larger problems, writing is enhanced. Writers have more images, people and situations to draw from for content or plot, depending on what genre they work in.

I might not ever be the perfect volunteer because I am a writer and I'm always putting a writing project (and my kids) first. But, I would not be a great writer if I didn't at least try to be something more in my community than just a writer.

Photo: That's actually me participating in my first 5K race in the Race Against Racism this past April.

Family Artists Dates

2010-07-26T03:51:00.002-04:00

Writing is just something I've come to known as my art form but most recently I've learned it's not the only art form that I enjoy. I happen to be much better at writing than most other types of mediums but nonetheless creating with my hands feels really good. Especially since writing a book of 90,000 words took so long, I found that doing a simple art project felt like a good accomplishment.

I learned to incorporate art very early into our family. In fact, the girls were 10 months old and still in high chairs when I decided to quit working full-time and I have video of using ketchup as paint on their high chair trays. That's how long we've been creating in the house. But, it's only been the last two years or so when I've started joining in, making their art time my art time as well.

If they are painting, I try to paint, too. If they are writing, I write, too. These family art dates -- much like the idea behind Julia Cameron's artists dates -- are exactly what drives my creativity every single week. Without those simple, artistic moments, I would have nothing to offer. I live for those dates of making mini books, cutting paper and doing collages. I get some of my more creative ideas during these projects. I guess my muse lives amongst crayons and construction paper, sometimes.

To make the most of our artist dates, I follow these simple guidelines:

1. Plan Ahead -- Art is best when it comes natural but it's best to plan ahead and have some of the best art materials laying around so that we can do just about whatever we want when we're inspired.

2. Go with the flow -- Sometimes our art projects last two minutes, sometimes they last an hour. I have no expectations, no rules, no final product in mind. We just do it and the act of creating is what brings smiles to our faces. Everything they do is good enough. They are good enough.

3. Celebrate it all -- Sometimes a paper only has two lines on it. Celebrate that. Sometimes the googly eyes are all off. That's just fine. It's art. It's not fine art. It's supposed to be a fun process, not a final process.

4. Steal other ideas -- I steal so many ideas from my very good friend Jean at the Artful Parent, who I often wish I was neighbors with. I know our girls would just be the best of friends as would she and I. Pretty much most of her ideas, we take on around our house. But, there are so many other great Web sites with great family art ideas. There's not enough hours to do them all.

5. Make Art Every Day -- If it doesn't happen in the morning, we fit it in before or after dinner or just before bed. We get pretty cranky around these parts if we don't do an art project. It's how we go quiet together, as a family.

6. Use imagination -- The best piece of advice I ever read was in the girls first year, thanks to Jean, told me not to pigeon hole my girls art work. I don't tell them to draw anything, I don't tell them what I think their art looks like and I don't show them how to draw anything. Well, not much. By doing this, there is no right and wrong and they've grown by leaps and bounds under their own creativity, not mine. The result is that I have become so much more creative learning from their freedom and curiosity.

For a while, Dan, my husband, would get anxious during art projects. He wasn't accustomed to the messiness and just letting it go like I was. It does take a bit of restraint to just let them make a mess and not worry about it. That's where my spirituality comes into play and being mindful of the beauty of seeing two little girls' imaginations run wild.

In the picture above, Dan had created a maze for the girls with sidewalk chalk. It was a rare moment to draw something for them but they turned that maze into so much more -- a Zoo, where wild animals lived and a store, I think.

Sometimes we teach them a thing or two. But, mostly, we're the students learning how to shed the rules and just be artists even when our instinct is to say we're not good enough.

Live * Laugh * Write Weekend Inspiration

2010-07-23T01:42:00.000-04:00

Just like every Friday around here, but this week the links were hot! Enjoy these lovelies that were inspiring me this past week.

Live

10 Rules for Brilliant Women (or anyone, really)

Take a Creative Time Out.

101+ Kids Outdoor Activities (never just for kids)

Laugh

Be Enough, won't ya?

I really want this. Like, seriously.

Have more Fun in life

Write

Olympics and Writing

Like meditation, return to writing/creating every day

If Janet Fitch told me to jump off a cliff to be a great writer, I just might have to because I love, love, love, love her and I love her writing tips. Swoon!

5 Ways to let go of Perfection

2010-07-21T01:45:00.001-04:00

We all have those gremlins that haunt our every move. We know those bad things they say that we then internalize.

You're not good enough. You can't do it. You aren't as good as she is. What if no one likes me/it/this wonderful project I'm working on?

It took a long time to shed these thoughts, fight off the gremlins and rise above it to just do the impossible: follow a dream to the end.

Here are 5 Ways to let go of imperfection:

1. Show up ready to fight. Put your gloves on and wear a mouth guard. Be ready to roll with the punches but also fight back when the worst demons start hitting you in the gut. You are good enough for this project -- right now at this very moment. Why else would it be calling you?

2. Journal it. No matter the problem or the worry, write about it. Write about it until you can honestly not write about it anymore. Worried about not making enough money? Write about it? Worried that your next-door-neighbor's sister's cousin won't like your art, write about it. Worried you're not the next Picasso or Pulitzer Prize winner? Write about it. Write about it until there is nothing left to say. It just goes away after that.

3. Mess up. Go out of your way to create a piece of crap. Get it off your mind by just shoving it out there into the world and then crumble it up, if you want, and toss it away into the wind. Whoosh!

4. Roll up your sleeves. Work. Hard. Always. If you're a writer, write. If you're a volunteer, act. If you're an artist, paint/draw/whatever. It's not about wanting to be anything. It's about doing it.

5. See it through to the end: Vow to finish, even if it's terrible, horrible, no good, very bad art. It's OK if it's not perfect. Just finish. Finish, already!

Time of your life: Balance

2010-07-20T02:15:00.001-04:00

Even as I sit here now, I have in the back of my mind all that I know I should be doing -- cleaning the kitchen, reading the three books I've started, writing for my latest project, revising my novel ... relaxing, exercising, meditating, cooking.

Productivity has never been a flaw of mine. Being overly ambitious about productivity has been, though. Until I realized last year that juggling too much actually stalls my productivity, I had a million projects started. None were finished, though. Imagine that?

So, it has taken me a long time to be able to figure out how to return to blogging when I barely have enough time to spare with everything else that I'm supposed to be doing. I wonder how people fit it all in, if they have a magic key to some world I don't understand. But then I think about it again and realize that it doesn't matter. If I can't post here five days a week, the world will not end.

The balance begins with me. If I can fit these blog posts into a small window of my week, and still find ways to be fulfilled and energized about the rest of my real-world life, I will be that Happy Writer I keep talking about.

So much of the blogosphere inspires me and I owe the mother and woman I've become to the amazing people who devote time here in these sacred spaces online. I could never just give it up. I just have to find that delicate balance between being a great mom and being a blogger, again.

Photo credit: Dannerzz

Monday Muse: Solitude

2010-07-19T02:15:00.000-04:00

Most of last year and the start of this year, I was feeling down and lost and irrelevant. I saw black and white and gray and nothing more. Desperate to figure out what was bothering me so much, I started doing some internal searching.

I devoted hours to writing lists, coaching myself for what was calling within me. I longed to be something more than I had been. What I had been was a go-between, a replacement, a proxy -- always on the edge of something, but never fully there as me, myself. I was the caretaker, the mother, the other half, the manager, the scheduler, the housekeeper, the notes keeper, and many other things.

I was never just me.

This bothered me. I knew I needed something for myself. After all, I built a career for 12 plus years on a simple phrase: my name. That's a big ego trip, you know.

To soothe myself, every day, I sat in quiet and wrote lists. Dozens of lists. (More on those in another post.)

By going inward and focusing on what was bothering me, I came upon something -- a feeling -- that lifted me up, that brought a smile to my face that kept me going, moving forward. Those moments -- and there were many, many, many -- helped me finish my novel.

I wanted to be something more.

More. I wanted to be relevant.

It wasn't a longing to be like others or to even be popular; it was about proving to myself that I am worth more than being a stand-in for other people. I am more than that.

I wanted to be authentically creative.

Solitude has become my best friend. At the end of a long day, I need silence. I need a room to myself. Before kids, I took this kind of peaceful state for granted; I could get it whenever I needed it. Now, it's like the gold nugget of my day and I relish it's fleeting presence, like a handful of sand slipping through my fingers.

Once I realized what I needed and wanted in life, my world fragmented into a billion colors, all beautiful. I was left with such happiness and inner peace.

This is what led me to create. This is what led me to sit down and write. This is what led me to write a 90,000-word novel. That made-up-just-for-fun world sustained me well enough but I couldn't have done it without peace and quiet to let the vision of images and words intersect at that point right between my eyes.

I just need to be left alone for a minute.

That is why this post spoke to me so much. It solidified many things I have been reflecting on in this post-first-book world. I need solitude as much as I need water and food. Without it, I am a mess, on edge and anxious. But, more than that, it helps me productive, helps guide me to what my intentions are for that one moment. Otherwise, my mind is drawn in too many directions and not the one direction I need to go in.

How about you? What do you need to sustain your creative energy? Do you need those connections or do you need quiet?

Photo Credit: Much thanks for this awesome image goes to Tori.Malea

Live * Laugh * Write Fridays

2010-07-16T05:30:00.002-04:00

Just like last Friday, here's what's been inspiring me, guiding me, teaching me and moving me along this past week -- or the last year or more. (I save a lot of favorites for times like this.)

Live

A New (Really Old) Way to Create Calm In Your World (Or, learn to stop everything)

The No. 1 Habit of Highly Creative People (Is this why I love to be alone so much?)

Laugh (and play)

We're making our way through this list of Summer To-Do's

What Color was your Day? (I really want to start this myself, maybe with Sharpies!)

Build a Summer Playlist (share it with someone or here with me)

Write

Life Gets in the Way

Who do you write like? (it's a viral link but fun!)

How about you? What's inspiring you this week?

photo credit: chaosinjune

This and That Thursdays

2010-07-15T08:47:00.000-04:00

I've been a bad blogger the past two years. I've hardly blogged, yes, but more than that -- I've not been supporting the very people who have been supporting me. So, in no particular order, I am going to pay it forward here on Thursdays to some of my writing friends and teachers.

First up ...

Writer Mama Christina Katz

She is always up to great things. I read her newsletters and just fall asleep from the exhaustion. Then again, I am no less busy. In fact, I love how she stays so busy but still maintains a fierce smile and positive attitude. I adore her but she knows that. You can learn more about her by reading her newly created blog The Prosperous Writer, reading her books Get Known Before the Book Deal or Writer Mama. I read and loved her most recent project, an e-book, called Author Mama, geared to women who want to publish a non-fiction book. Just good knowledge.

I took two of Christina's classes mid-freelance career and gained so much from her wisdom and ability to push me from being a "lazy" writer to a prosperous writer. She really taught me a lot! Thanks, Christina! And, here's an interview!

An Interview with Christina Katz

Christina Katz is the author of Get Known Before the Book Deal, Use Your Personal Strengths to Grow an Author Platform and Writer Mama, How to Raise a Writing Career Alongside Your Kids for Writer’s Digest Books. She has written hundreds of articles for national, regional, and online publications, presents at literary and publishing events around the country, and is a monthly columnist for the Willamette Writer. Katz publishes a weekly e-zine, The Prosperous Writer, and hosts The Northwest Author Series. She holds an MFA in writing from Columbia College Chicago and a BA from Dartmouth College. A “gentle taskmaster” to her hundred or so students each year, Katz channels over a decade of professional writing experience into success strategies that help writers get on track and get published.

Q: What is a platform?

CK: Long story short: Your platform communicates your expertise to others, and it works all the time so you don’t have to. Your platform includes your Web presence, any public speaking you do, the classes you teach, the media contacts you’ve established, the articles you’ve published, and any other means you currently have for making your name and your future books known to a viable readership. If others already recognize your expertise on a given topic or for a specific audience or both, then that is your platform.

A platform-strong writer is a writer with influence. Get Known explains in plain English, without buzzwords, how any writer can stand out from the crowd of other writers and get the book deal. The book clears an easy-to-follow path through a formerly confusing forest of ideas so that even the most inexperienced platform-builder can get started building a solid platform.

Q: Why is platform development important for writers today?

CK: Learning about and working on a solid platform plan gives writers an edge in selling books. Agents and editors have known this for years and have been looking for platform-strong writers and getting them deals. But from the writer’s point-of-view, there has not been enough information on platform development to help unprepared writers put their best platform forward.

Now suddenly, there is a flood of information on platform, not all necessarily comprehensive, useful or well organized for folks who don’t have a platform yet. Writers can promote themselves in a gradual, grounded manner without feeling like they are selling out. I do it, I teach other writers to do it, I write about it on an ongoing basis, and I encourage all writers to heed the trend. And hopefully, I communicate how in a practical, step-by-step manner that can serve any writer. Something we never hear enough is that platform development is an inside job requiring concentration, thoughtfulness and a consideration of personal values.

Q: Why was a book on platform development needed?

CK: At every conference I presented, I took polls and found that about 50 percent of attendees expressed a desire for a clearer understanding of platform. Some were completely in the dark about it, even though they were attending a conference in hopes of landing a book deal. Writers often underestimate how important platform is and they often don’t leverage the platform they already have as much as they could. Since book deals are granted largely based on the impressiveness of a writer’s platform, I wanted to address the communication gap.

My intention was that Get Known would be the book every writer would want to read before attending a writer’s conference, and that it would increase any writer’s chances of landing a book deal whether they pitched in-person or by query. As I wrote the book, I saw how this type of information was being offered online as “insider secrets” at outrageous prices. No one should have to pay thousands of dollars for the information they can find in my book for the price of a paperback! Seriously. You can even ask your library to order it and read it for free.

Q: What is the key idea behind Get Known Before the Book Deal?

CK: Getting known doesn’t take a lot of money, but it does take an understanding of platform, and the investment of time, skills and consistent effort to build one. Marketing experience and technological expertise are also not necessary. I show how to avoid the biggest time and money-waster, which is not understanding who your platform is for and why – and hopefully save writers from the confusion and inertia that can result from either information overload or not taking the big picture into account before they jump into writing for traditional publication.

Q: Why is there so much confusion about platform among writers?

Often writers with weak platforms are over-confident that they can impress agents and editors, while others with decent platforms are under-confident or aren’t stressing their platform-strength enough. Writers have to wear so many hats these days, we can use all the help we can get. Platform development is a muscle, and the more you use it, the stronger it gets. Anyone can do it, but most don’t or won’t because they either don’t understand what is being asked for, or they haven’t overcome their own resistance to the idea. Get Known offers a concrete plan that can help any writer make gains in the rapidly changing and increasingly competitive publishing landscape.

Q: What is the structure of the book and why did you choose it?

CK: Get Known has three sections: section one is mostly stories and cautionary tales, section two has a lot of to-do lists any writer should be able to use, and section three is how to articulate your platform clearly and concisely so you won’t waste a single minute wondering if you are on the right track.

Most of the platform books already out there were for authors, not writers or aspiring authors. To make platform evolution easy to comprehend, I dialed the concepts back to the beginning and talked about what it’s like to try and find your place in the world as an author way before you’ve signed a contract, even before you’ve written a book proposal. No one had done that before in a book for writers. I felt writers needed a context in which to chart a course towards platform development that would not be completely overwhelming.

Q: At the front of Get Known, you discuss four phases of the authoring process. What are they?

CK: First comes the platform development and building phase. In this phase you are developing authority and trust. Second comes the book proposal development phase (or if you are writing fiction, the book-writing phase). In this phase, you are leveraging your expertise and your persuasive writing skills. Third, comes the actual writing of the book (for fiction writers this is likely the re-writing of the book). In this phase, you demonstrate that you are a skilled writer, who understands how to craft polished prose. And finally, once the book is published, comes the book marketing and promoting phase. In this final phase, you leverage all your existing influence and connect with as many readers as you can.

Many first-time authors scramble once they get a book deal if they haven’t done a thorough job on the platform development phase. Writers who already have a platform have influence with a fan base, and they can leverage that influence no matter what kind of book they write. Writing a book is a lot easier if you are not struggling to find readers for the book at the same time. Again, agents and editors have known this for a long time.

Q: What are some common platform mistakes writers make?

CK: Here are a few:

• They don’t spend time clarifying who they are to others.
• They don’t zoom in specifically on what they offer.
• They confuse socializing with platform development.
• They think about themselves too much and their audience not enough.
• They don’t precisely articulate all they offer so others get it immediately.
• They don’t create a plan before they jump online.
• They undervalue the platform they already have.
• They are overconfident and think they have a solid platform when they have only made a beginning.
• They burn out from trying to figure out platform as they go.
• They imitate “insider secrets” instead of trusting their own instincts.
• They blog like crazy for six months and then look at their bank accounts and abandon the process as going nowhere.

Suffice it to say that many writers promise publishers they have the ability to make readers seek out and purchase their book. But when it comes time to demonstrate this ability, they can’t deliver.

Q: You write, teach, speak and blog. What motivates you?

My mission is to empower writers to be 100 percent responsible for their writing career success and stop looking to others to do their promotional work for them. Get Known shows writers of every stripe how to become the writer who can not only land a book deal, but also influence future readers to plunk down ten or twenty bucks to purchase their book. It all starts with a little preparation and planning. The rest unfolds from there. But you’ve got to start working on your platform today, if you want to become an author some day. Get Known can help anyone get off to a solid start.

Christina Katz is the author of Get Known Before the Book Deal, Use Your Personal Strengths to Grow an Author Platform and Writer Mama, How to Raise a Writing Career Alongside Your Kids for Writer’s Digest Books. She has written hundreds of articles for national, regional, and online publications, presents at literary and publishing events around the country, and is a monthly columnist for the Willamette Writer. Katz publishes a weekly e-zine, The Prosperous Writer, and hosts The Northwest Author Series. She holds an MFA in writing from Columbia College Chicago and a BA from Dartmouth College. A “gentle taskmaster” to her hundred or so students each year, Katz channels over a decade of professional writing experience into success strategies that help writers get on track and get published. Learn more at ChristinaKatz.com.

The Sun, The Sun

2010-07-14T06:50:00.000-04:00

Sometime mid-winter I started obsessing over the sun -- all the time.

I mean, needing the sun. I needed the sun's warmth to kiss my body and heal it. I needed its beauty to brighten my days. I wasn't depressed, I just needed the sun.

It started with the song at the end of this post.

The natural world has been calling me my whole life but I only now recognize that pull, that gravitational pull that sweeps me in and wraps itself around me as it relates to the seasons and the stress in my life.

When we lived in the city, I was obsessed with trees. Big, tall, comforting trees. I longed for their wisdom, their shelter, the way they withstand all the elements and still stand strong. I wanted to be able to weather the violence that we were witnessing week in and week out.

I began celebrating Summer and Winter Solstice privately a couple years ago, but it was last year when I felt the girls were old enough to celebrate, too, that I started taking it to a new level.

This year, I truly celebrated for me. I needed to celebrate the sun's beauty and thank it for rising every day for me and bringing such light and clarity and warmth.

This year, I woke at 4 a.m. on the morning of Summer Solstice on June 21st, a Monday no less. Drove 15 minutes to pick up a friend and then another 20 minutes to a dark parking lot in the country. We hiked an easy trail up to the top of a tall hill (the girls would call it a mountain) overlooking the river -- the same river that was the view for our wedding. The hike up took about 10 minutes -- and once at the top we entered a sacred circle -- a tribe of other sun fans in a service led by American Indians.

We were smudged as we entered the circle and then we waited for the program to start. The elder told us about the importance of the longest day of the year in his culture and our reasons for being there were instantly all the same.

He led a traditional American Indian prayer and then we meditated and watched as he held his arms out to the dark sky and the sun inch by inch rose up, up, up above the horizon. It was miraculous the way she just rose up after his prayer was over. It was a heavenly moment, perfectly timed, and leaves you feeling a part of a great miracle.

I walked away that day with even more respect for the sun and I feel a connection to it.

Pictured above is my friend Stacey who bravely attended the Summer Solstic service with me.

When Creative Souls are Born

2010-07-13T09:00:00.000-04:00

I was a mere 22, a youngster just out of college, fresh on the cops beat at a very small daily in my hometown. I lived with a portable scanner hooked on my pants or in my bag. I kept the sound low, but I was on call 24/7. I wrote about fires, crashes and murders. It was a hellish but thrilling life, a job that taught me more about working and humanity and the world than all 16 years of school. Perhaps this is why I am beyond my 36 years.

It was a job I actually didn't even want - such has been the case for most of my jobs in life.

One weekend I helped my best friend work in the local strip mall for that year's Domestic and Sexual Violence Clothesline Project. The shirts, all red or purple, were decorated by someone who was a survivor or a family member of a victim. They were moving as an installation; each one pulled at your heartstrings a little more than the one next to it.

A woman, in her early 30s, walked up and she was distraught and crying and begging to buy one of the shirts -- one about being raped. We tried in various ways to explain to her that the shirts were not for sale. She walked away more upset.

That week, I started a novel about that stranger. I wrote nearly 20,000 words.

Then Life got in the way.

I got a new job a year later, met my future husband, married, suffered infertility, got pregnant, WITH TWINS, had the twins, went through post-postpartum that I only now recognize as post-postpartum, raised the twins to little girls, where they now rest in a pretty easy state.

Along the way, I worked at another newspaper, writing, of course, then quit that to give back to my community in a role that managed mentors for teen moms, quit to be a Stay at Home Mom, then quickly became a Work-at-Home mom who freelanced by day and night while being a full-time mother. They were all hard and fulfilling. But they did all have one thing in common: Searching for more, seeking more, waiting for more.

I was always watching the clock for what was next, never just enjoying what I already had. Frankly, I do not regret that time for it led me to where I am now, to this place of still and calm (for the most part).

I'm not there anymore. I'm beyond all of it. I'm not waiting to get married, I already am. I'm not longing to get pregnant, I'm done with that. And, I am not writing to pay the bills, I'm writing for the fun of writing. More than that, the bills are paid and we're in a pretty stable place as a family.

The time is right. Do I think back and wonder why it took 11 years to write a novel? Yes, I have, but it was only this past year when the time was ripe, when I had the clear mind and the clarity to do it. I no longer question it but understand it and accept it. This realization is helping me move forward, making up for lost time.

And that's how my Creative Soul was born. How about you? When was yours born? Or, is it still evolving and growing and finding a place it can be sustained?

Monday's Muse: Music

2010-07-12T09:00:00.000-04:00

Some time around 60K words in my novel, I discovered writing to music. I had always written with some music in the background -- wordless music -- but I had never tried to use the music as a tool.

What was I thinking? It literally transformed my writing power from sluggish to full-speed-ahead.

Where I had always been thinking of music as a distraction, I found the right song at the right time strengthen my craft and encouraged me to write longer and more intensely.

I learned to use the music to help pace scenes, set the tone for the emotion as well as show the right kind of energy. Fast-paced music helped get through exciting scenes while slower, low-tempo music helped scenes full of feelings and internal thought.

Here's the playlist of some of my favorite songs/groups to help me write my novel. The first two just happen to be my top choice for all occasions.

Dana Parish
Missy Higgins
Sigur Ros
Ben Harper
OneRepublic

I also enjoyed a little Indian music, inspired by Sex and the City 2 and Celtic Woman, inspired by a service at our church in honor of women.

How about you? What music do you like to write to? Let's share and expand our writing playlists. I'll post your choices in next Monday's post if you leave a comment or post a link to play along.

Photo credit: Mara~ earth light

Live * Laugh * Write Fridays

2010-07-08T23:01:00.001-04:00

I'm getting this writing house in order. It's long overdue and yet it feels like the time couldn't be more ripe. I am full of life and love and have created so much space for writing to flow into my life.

Not just writing, though. All things Creative. All things artistic. All things simple, and beautiful. It's a good place to be.

So, to start off this reentry into blogging -- an adventure for a working mom with lots of stuff going on, no doubt -- I am introducing a series related to my Web site, my mantra and my attitude.

It's nothing more than I have to live and laugh (which to me means play and have loads of fun) before I can sit down and write. That I must live and laugh through the pages of what I'm writing so that I can be what I call The Happy Writer. When I do all of these things, I am a Happy Woman. It's really that simple. Oddly enough. So, enough is enough. Here are some great resources you should check out related to this whole living, laughing and writing theme. Every Friday it will be here, waiting for you, holding your hand to ease you into your weekends.

*Live*

If you seriously can't execute (at least) one of your ideas after reading this post, then I'm just going to snap

Create a Summer playlist

*Laugh*

What do you want to do with your life?

7 Ways to make your living space more fun

*Write*

Breathe life into your fiction

Organize yourself to get writing

A big thanks to Jean at The Artful Parent, too, for featuring our repurposed toys turned art supply bins project that are in the picture above. She graciously linked to my mom blog and I'm grateful always for her weekly creative inspiration.

A Thought on Serendipity

2010-06-11T21:05:00.000-04:00

We went for an ordinary walk tonight to a place we've only gone once before as a family.

I was even a little mad about going because I didn't feel like going in a car. Yet it's a short ride from our house, a place that is in between right now. It used to be a golf course; it's gonna be a hospital. For now, people who get it walk there in its hills of amazing beauty graced with overgrown everything and gorgeous, strong trees.

We went because we pass it every day and never go. We went because we had nothing better to do on an otherwise perfect evening. We had already swam, already eaten dinner, already sat around.

We were at the top of the very large first hill chasing the one leading and turned around, as we always have to do for the one trailing, when we spotted a hot air balloon in blues and reds and yellows rising to the clouds. Slowly, we watched it rise, rise, rise above the trees.

And then an amazing thing happened: Another one lifted up and floated. And another. And another. And yet another. We saw about a dozen floating in the sky. The girls were amazed no less than we were.

"This is magic, babies," I told them.

I've been to a few balloon lift offs and they've always failed because of the even the slightest chance of too much wind. I've seen one, maybe two in the sky while driving before.

We were amazed but had to take a pee break in the weeds because it was too amazing to miss by running back to the car and running home.

And while I was trying to hold two four-year-old girls over weeds to pee, something magical and amazing happened.

The balloons started to land in the field at the bottom of the hill on which we stood. First one. Then another. And then many more.

I fought tears as they surrounded us with their mass volume and colors. I closed my eyes and meditated for a minute on their guttural sound of air blowing into a balloon. Their breath took mine away.

We took as many pictures as we could with the one phone we had and we just absorbed the once-in-a-lifetime moment of pure serendipity -- a true fortunate accident.

We'll walk there again but somehow I'm sure it won't ever quite be the same.

I know I won't.

Gremlins creeping in ...

2010-06-08T06:06:00.000-04:00

"Perhaps everything terrible is, in its deepest being, something that needs our love." --Rainer Maria Rilke (1875-1926)

I just walked briskly for a half hour trying to tame what I learned yesterday I can call Monkey Mind. I have lots of these little gremlins creeping in and cluttering my brain, impacting my ability to write this week.

Thanks to Magpie Girl for those helpful definitions of things I've always just labeled as feeling unable or not good enough or terrible writer. My demons are coming to me in a place they've always come to me since I moved to this town. My issues are local issues. My drama is with other people, not myself. If I cannot influence them, I do not feel good enough. If I'm not good enough, I start to self-doubt. It's a vicious cycle.

Left to my own being, sitting at my desk writing with no real people around other than the wonderful online community that I've grown to love and know so well, I would soar. That is not possible since I work full-time and have several volunteer jobs that impact my everyday. Actually, it's the volunteer work that is bothering me most.

Perhaps by writing this post and seeing that quote above just this morning, I'm realizing (deciding?) that what I need is to drop back entirely on these things that should make me feel good but are not. That I need to continue to surround myself with people who support me and help me Soar. I can let go of these demons and I will ... I've done it before. But I might have to Act first. I have to get back to basics and stick with those who I can trust with my thoughts and emotions. Only then will I be able to write on ...

For now, I'm standing by this mantra: It is NOT my problem. It is NOT my problem.

Photo Credit: alicepopkorn

8 Things filling me up

2010-06-05T14:29:00.000-04:00

I've been following a blogging world full of creative spirits for a couple years now but it's been the last two years that I've really turned to this. And while I started out as a mommy blogger, unintentionally, I've long outgrown writing about my children. I thought long and hard about writing about all the artsy stuff I do with them but I knew I wouldn't keep up with that to maintain a following. You can read all my mommy blogging stuff RIGHT HERE. I will still blog there occasionally.

But I've always written about trying to be creative while being a mother and so being a Creativity Junkie just sort of fits my life. I recently wrote a guest blog post for Magpie Girl and I can't wait to share that with all of you who still read here.

For now, how about I get a little started with this Creativity thing and let you know what's filling me up.

1. Writing. I recently learned a bunch of things were holding me back from writing and one of them was doing too much work writing. Funny how that works. But by letting the words flow, I have been more successful at writing. No more freelancing unless it feels right. No more blogging unless it feels right. I'm just creating now and that totally fills me up.

2. Sunshine. We have a lovely pool at our new house and wow it has transformed our lives taking me back to what it felt like to be a kid again just sunning and swimming all day. We actually stayed home for a whole day yesterday. The sun fills me up so much.

3. Music. I'm experimenting with new tunes on Pandora. I've discovered that I love Indian music. It's crazy but wow it makes me so happy. I also have known that I love Indian food and one of my MONDO BEYONDO dreams is to learn to cook it and then have a dinner party. I've also been experimenting with what music does to my writing.

4. Dreaming. I just love to sit around with a notebook and pen and dream about life. I'm taking Mondo Beyondo and a couple other classes right now that are filling me up with dreams and actions to take those dreams on a journey.

5. My girls. When they are swimming or running in the sunshine and being true little kids, it's the best gift in the world. I see so much of ourselves in them and that is crazy filling.

6. The simple life. Homemade ice cream. Lemonade. Grilling outside. Picking strawberries. Spending time in nature -- deep wood nature. Watching the birds and listening to them.

7. Meditation. Yes. When all else fails, it's all I can do to fill back up.

8. Creative friends. I have a few and am working to build a tribe locally. I have a book club debuting at my house this coming week. I'm excited to release this dream into the world. I also started an art group for the girls to get them building these creative friendships sooner.

To read more *8 Things lists, go here.

Welcome to Live Laugh Write

2010-05-18T11:01:00.000-04:00

We have to start somewhere.

This is my beginning, which is really just coming full circle to what I've known for a long time.

Writing here every day. About writing. About living. About laughing.

Welcome.